Errors cost people in a variety of ways:

• You can lose out on your share of the marital assets.
• Child custody or visitation can be decreased.
• You can end up paying more for spousal support.
• It can create additional tension, animosity, and hard feelings between spouses.

Divorce has a huge impact on your life moving forward. As such, it’s vital not to screw it up for avoidable reasons.

How People Damage Their Divorce

People damage their divorce cases in many ways, but if you know what to look out for, hopefully, you can avoid hurting your own cause.

1. Filing Too Soon

Some people believe that filing for divorce first gives you an edge. They try to burst out of the starting gate ahead of their spouse. In some circumstances, this works. But in others, people irreparably damage their own divorce.

If you’re prepared and have a clear plan of action, by all means, go right ahead. But don’t just file for the sake of filing.

Take the time to organize paperwork and documents, save money, and find the right divorce attorney. Laying a solid foundation for your case is far more beneficial than being the first to file. Sure, you may want to get it over with, as soon as possible, but being prepared only helps in the long run.

Related Reading: Is Washington a No-Fault Divorce State?

2. Agreeing to Unfavorable Terms

Divorce is a hectic, stressful, wildly emotional time. By the time they get deep into the process, many people have been through so much they want it to be over, no matter the cost. But sometimes that cost is great.

Far too often, people willingly offer assets or agree to unfair terms in hopes of speeding things up. Of course, it hurts, ending a marriage is tough. But being as level-headed as possible helps many people avoid damaging their own divorce case.

Related Reading: When is the Best Time to Divorce?

3. Taking Bad Advice

Divorce is common. You likely know multiple people who have been through the process before. Many eagerly offer advice and share their stories, but be careful which suggestions you follow.

In some cases, advice from friends leads people to harm their cases.

No matter how well-intentioned, well-wishers often inadvertently undermine your position.

Every case is different, so what worked in one situation may not work in yours. While one strategy worked like gangbusters for your best friend’s cousin, it may derail your case.

Some advice, like transferring assets out of your name, may even backfire horribly. Before you do anything, a good rule of thumb is to run it by your attorney first.

Related Reading: Divorce Strategies

4. Moving Out

Moving out of a shared home sounds like a no-brainer. Who wants to keep living with a soon-to-be-ex? After all, if the living situation was great, you probably wouldn’t be divorcing.

A common practice, by the time divorce gets underway, most couples already live apart. In many cases, however, this can damage your case.

• Moving out can set precedents about child custody decisions and impact visitation.
• If you leave the house in the hands of your spouse, it often results in larger spousal support payments.
• It often influences the division of property.
• You may be obligated to continue paying bills during divorce even if you no longer live there.

There can be many unexpected consequences. Take the time to truly weigh the decision.

Related Reading: Moving Our During Divorce: What You Need to Know

5. Hiding Assets

Since dividing property has a substantial effect on financial well-being, it’s natural to want to protect your interests. Some people try to accomplish this by transferring assets out of their name or otherwise concealing resources.

No matter how shrewd you think you are, if you try this, you’ll most likely be found out.

If your spouse has a lawyer, they’ve probably been through this before and know where to look. This not only ruins a person’s credibility, but it can also damage their case.

Related Reading: How to File for Divorce in Washington

6. Acting In Anger

Acting out of anger is rarely if ever, a good idea. This is true in daily life and especially during a divorce.

You may have good reasons for being mad, hurt, or disappointed, but using divorce as a tool of vengeance doesn’t do any good. More often than not, it only prolongs things, costs more money, and makes everyone feel worse.

When it involves kids, it’s even trickier. With shared custody, you’ll have to communicate with your ex in some capacity.

If you burn bridges and create additional hostility, the kids will pick up on that.

Try to stick to the facts at hand, avoid unnecessary conflict, and prepare to move forward with your life. You’re doing this to move on, not linger in the past.

Related Reading: Divorce After a Brief Marriage

7. Doing It Yourself

With online resources and guides, handling a divorce yourself is now easier and more accessible than ever. In a few minutes, you can download the forms, fill them out, pay the fees, and file them in the appropriate place. Easy.

While a do-it-yourself approach is ideal in some cases, some people damage their own divorce by trying to save a few dollars.

When it comes to shorter marriages with no kids and little shared property, DIY is often the way to go. However, the more there is to deal with, the more complicated things get. The likelihood of mistakes increases along with the complexity. Especially if your spouse hires a divorce lawyer, consider hiring one of your own.

Related Reading: Pro Se Divorce: The Positives and Negatives of DIY Divorce Proceedings

8. Acting Out On Social Media

Facebook, X, Instagram, and other social media outlets play a role in our daily lives. Increasingly, they also play a role in divorce.

One study found that one-third of divorce filings in the United States cite the word “Facebook.” Often this is how one spouse finds out about infidelity on the part of the other. But social media also frequently factors into the actual divorce process.

Lashing out at an ex online paints an ugly picture. Sharing particulars of a divorce often causes one side to stop cooperating with the other. In custody situations, posting photos of wild nights out can make a person look like an irresponsible parent.

Too often, people don’t consider the impact of what they post and cause problems for themselves.

These are just a few ways people ultimately damage their own divorce cases. Don’t worry, there are many others.

How divorce plays out has a huge impact on your life moving forward. There’s custody, division of property, maintenance payments, and more to consider.

Stop to think through the potential consequences. Try to remain calm, rational, and use common sense in every decision. When in doubt, check with your lawyer if you have one. Divorce is hard enough, don’t create new problems to overcome.

Related Reading: An Epic Divorce Tale of Spite and Anger

From Divorce For Men Radio

The post Ways People Damage Their Own Divorce Cases appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

What Is Common-Law Marriage?

Common-law marriage is a term many people have a vague familiarity with. We generally understand it to mean that living with a partner for a certain number of years without actually tying the knot creates a kind of de facto marriage. It’s essentially marriage by default.

While that’s what it means in a broad sense, how it works from state to state varies. And it’s usually much more complex than two people simply living together for a long time.

With some variance, to have a common-law marriage, you must both be able to marry, live together, have intent, and essentially live life as a married couple. You share joint bank accounts and assets, refer to each other as “husband” and “wife,” and things like that.

Related Reading: Legal Marijuana And How It Affects Child Custody

Does Washington Have Common-Law Marriage?

As we said, there are a lot of misconceptions about common-law marriage. Fortunately for Washington residents, state law makes it easy to grasp.

Though the state recognizes common-law marriages from other states—in reality, only a few still embrace the custom—Washington itself does not allow the practice.

However, just because Washington doesn’t have common-law marriage doesn’t mean you have no rights in cases of long-term relationships. We see this situation come up more and more frequently.

Couples cohabitate before marriage at a higher rate than ever before. Many commingle finances and every other facet of their lives, much like a marriage. It’s not even uncommon for couples to have and raise children without ever marrying.

Related Reading: Can I Annul My Marriage in Washington?

What Are Committed Intimate Relationships?

Though Washington doesn’t allow common-law marriage, it does use the idea of Committed Intimate Relationships to impart legal rights for long-term relationships. Like common-law marriage, this pertains to relationships where couples live together in a way that approximates a marital union.

These were formerly known as “meretricious relationships,” though the legal terminology has changed.

There are no set criteria for commited intimate relationships. However, like common-law marriage, similar factors go into determining what does or doesn’t qualify.

When a couple lives together for years, pools resources, financial or otherwise, and generally enjoys the benefits of a marital relationship—companionship, support, and the rest—this often constitutes a committed intimate relationship. After examining the situation, the court can ultimately rule on whether or not a relationship fits its criteria.

This designation helps courts deal with legal and financial issues when one ends and distinguishes them from run-of-the-mill, temporary romantic relationships. In fact, in these situations, the process often mimics what you see in divorce proceedings.

Related Reading: How the Division of Property Works in Washington

Division of Property

Because Washington doesn’t allow common-law marriage, the division of property often gets tricky for longer romances.

In these cases, the courts only divide assets and debts in instances of committed intimate relationships. This is something you have to determine first, but once legally established, the courts split property similarly to how it would in a divorce, though with some differences.

Washington is a community property state, which means it views all property acquired during a marriage as belonging equally to both parties. As we’re not talking about marriage, the situation is somewhat different. However, courts do use similar reasoning for dividing the property.

Courts employ a fair and equitable standard when making this decision. They consider things like the length of the relationship, the financial standing of each party, and more. Like with marriage, this also only applies to property acquired during the relationship.

If you owned something before, it stays yours. The same goes for anything acquired as a gift or as an inheritance. That remains with whoever received it. More on that in a moment.

Related Reading: How Does Washington Handle Debt In Divorce?

Child Custody

Parental rights and obligations don’t hinge on a marriage. Your status as a parent matters, not the status of your relationship. Biological and adoptive parents have the same parental rights, regardless of whether the couple is married.

After the end of a committed intimate relationship, you can pursue custody and visitation. If you have the majority of the time in the parenting plan, you also have the right to child support. And you have the right to be part of your child’s life unless circumstances dictate otherwise.

All of the things that usually factor into a child custody battle in cases of divorce still pertain to unmarried couples.

Related Reading: What To Expect From A Child Custody Hearing

Inheritance

Unmarried partners don’t inherit property when one party dies the same way married couples do. It isn’t automatic.

If you have a will, that’s one thing. However, even without a will, you have options. If your partner passes away and you can show you were in a committed intimate relationship, you may be due inheritance and other benefits.

Still, even then, without a will or marriage, your rights remain limited in certain regards.

For instance, you aren’t eligible to collect Social Security based on your partner’s work record. Without a will or other documentation, you may not have the legal right to participate in your partner’s health care decisions, have input in the burial, and be a part of related situations. In most cases, this falls to family members, who can exclude you if they choose.

You can have attorneys draft legal documents ensuring these things, but without them, you don’t automatically become entitled.

The short answer to the question of does Washington have common-law marriage is, no, no it doesn’t. But that doesn’t mean you’re out of luck when it comes to the end of a long-term relationship.

This does create additional pitfalls and hazards, but there are ways to contend with most of them. Like so many situations, it’s best to prepare ahead of time to protect yourself.

Related Reading: Can My Ex Keep My Child From Playing Sports?

The post Does Washington State Have Common-Law Marriage? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

Life insurance policies can be one of the more delicate knots to untie and oftentimes go overlooked in the divorce process.

Dealing with life insurance during a divorce can be emotional, especially when you have kids. These policies form a safety net for families. It’s important to hit all the key aspects and make the most logical decisions for all parties involved.

You Need to Cover:

• Beneficiary changes.
• Accounting for the cash value in whole or universal life policies.
• Protecting child support and alimony income.

Beneficiary Changes

The dissolution of marriage doesn’t automatically remove you or your ex from a policy. This is one reason people so often overlook life insurance in divorce.

If your ex took out a life insurance policy that insures you and pays out a benefit in the event of your death, they keep that policy even after your divorce. Only the policyholder can cancel or change that contract.

The exception to this is if you receive the insurance policy and benefits as part of the divorce agreement.

The good news is that most life insurance policies are revocable. This means the policy owner may change the beneficiary at any time.

There are some instances where you can’t change the beneficiary. That’s called an irrevocable beneficiary. In these cases, no one can alter the document once that person has been named.

If you’re the policyholder, simply calling your insurance agent is the easiest way to change your policy. Have them verify the policy and then re-designate your beneficiary.

Related Reading: When is the Best Time to Divorce?

Accounting for the Cash Value

As you plan to become financially independent from your spouse, you look to divide assets and debts, evaluate bonds, stocks, and mutual funds, and consider retirement.

While you do this, keep in mind, courts don’t technically consider life insurance a financial asset. They only assess the cash value.

This number represents part of your net worth. Listing the life insurance policy, including its cash value, among the marital assets to be divided is the most equitable thing to do. This is mostly because, in a common divorce where assets are divided evenly, you leave the marriage with half the cash value from the policy.

If you have term life insurance, you don’t have to worry about splitting up the policy as an asset. Term policies do not come with any supplemental components and have no cash value.

Permanent policies, however, are sometimes seen as an investment due to their tax-deferred savings. Talking to your life insurance provider should help you identify which type of policy you have and clarify the differences between each.

Related Reading: The Cost of Divorce in Washington

Protecting Child Support and Alimony Income

For the spouse awarded primary custody of the children after a divorce, protecting child support and alimony income becomes especially important. The money from child support and alimony is essential to maintaining the well-being of your kids.

One way to protect yourself from the absence of such supplemental income is by maintaining a life insurance policy on your ex-spouse. At least until your child leaves for college.

With a benefit amount high enough to replace your child support or alimony income, this serves as a financial safety net.

This isn’t a particularly common strategy, but occasionally the court does order a parent to submit to this plan. Usually, however, that’s not the case.

If you’re in a situation where the other parent is unable or unwilling to make continued payments toward the life insurance, you have options. One option is to own the policy and pay the premium yourself, as life insurance becomes null and void if the payments lapse.

Related Reading: How Is Debt Divided During A Divorce?

Court-Ordered Life Insurance

In the instance that the court requires you to pay life insurance, there are three things to consider:

• The application for life insurance policies often takes at least 4-6 weeks to complete. It takes even longer if you are rejected and required to submit additional information. This means that the sooner you start the process, the better.
• Communication is key to making this as smooth as possible from the very beginning. Talk with your lawyer and your former spouse about who owns the policy, how long the term should be, how much coverage you need, and who pays the premiums.
• The court often asks for proof of a purchased life insurance policy. In this case, you should be able to get a copy of your signed application from the broker.

As with many things during a divorce, dealing with life insurance often gets complicated. It can be a valuable tool for providing for your children, but it’s also not all that common. Negotiating it as part of a settlement also adds costs and complications to your case.

Still, it’s an option to consider. If you have questions about how it impacts your case, it’s usually best to consult a divorce attorney. That should give you a solid idea of how best to proceed.

Related Reading: Can You File For Bankruptcy During a Divorce?

The post Life Insurance And Divorce: What To Know appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

Even in the best situations, divorce gets twisted and complicated. It’s often a long process, one that often drags on and on. When spouses are willing to work together it streamlines the process and speeds things up.

On the other hand, when they’re not willing to play ball, when they drag their feet at every turn, that’s a different story. If your ex refuses to participate in negotiations and engage, what can you do?

Rick Jones, our founding partner, regularly appears on the KZOK 102.5 morning show, where he answers family law questions from listeners. One caller finds himself in just this situation. His ex refuses to answer his calls for mediation and he wants to know what options he has.

Related Reading: Is Washington a No-Fault Divorce State?

Listen to the Conversation Below:

Caller: “My ex filed for divorce in January. I have requested mediation I don’t know how many times, and she won’t answer, won’t step up to the table, won’t do anything. And this is still dragging on. Is there any way to get her to finalize this, or go to mediation, or just speed things up?”

Rick: “Which county is this filed in?“

Caller: “Snohomish.”

Rick: “Okay. Ultimately what the court is going to require is that there be some sort of settlement attempt even short of court. They’re really doing that for the purposes of judicial efficiency. Now, in Snohomish County, one of the things you’ll want to do…or wait, first, are you represented?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Rick: “Okay. What your attorney already has done, or will want to do immediately, is to request a trial date from Snohomish County. They don’t give you one on day-one like they do in King and Pierce [Counties]. So you’ll want to request a trial date. Once that date is in there, even if it’s four months from now, there’s a big red star on that date, and it creates a little bit of urgency.

“She’s not going to want to go to trial either. It’s going to cost her a lot of money or a lot of heartache getting all that way. So the reality is, get something on the calendar so there’s now a deadline that she needs to prepare for. I’m telling you, 95% chance they’ll be on to mediation.”

Related Reading: Divorce After a Short Marriage

The post What if My Ex Refuses to Cooperate in Divorce? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

Sometimes two people grow apart and evolve in different, incompatible directions. Any number of factors further complicate matters. For instance, adultery often destroys marriages, but how much it affects the divorce process varies.

Another such snag is when you want to end your marriage, but the other party has other ideas. What can you do if your spouse doesn’t want to divorce?  With a few exceptions, it doesn’t matter if your spouse disagrees.

Most states in the union, including Washington, practice no-fault divorce.

Related Reading: How To File For Divorce In Washington

What Is No-Fault Divorce?

In short, no-fault divorce is exactly what it sounds like. You don’t have to prove that either party is to blame for the marriage crumbling. If adultery broke your marriage, for instance, it doesn’t really matter. You don’t have to prove the other party is in the wrong in Washington.

All the court requires is that you declare the union broken beyond repair with no hope of reconciliation. Do that, actually be legally married, meet state residency requirements, and follow the proper procedure, and you can dissolve your marriage.

In a practical sense, no-fault divorce streamlines ending a marriage. Without having to prove one person is to blame, it speeds up the timeline.

There’s no need to dig up painful memories or sling mud back and forth. And even if your spouse doesn’t want to divorce, you can get out and move on with your life.

Related Reading: Average Costs of Divorce In Washington

Does it Affect Settlement Agreements?

Under no-fault divorce statutes, the court doesn’t take wrongdoing into account when dissolving a marriage. Wrongdoing can, however, come into play in a variety of areas in divorce cases.

Child custody, the division of property, spousal support, and others can all feel the influence. If wrongdoing has a direct impact on circumstances, fault could possibly factor in.

Related Reading: Are Divorce Records Public in Washington?

Can Adultery Affect No-Fault Divorce?

In spite of the fact that Washington is a no-fault state, there are instances where wrongdoing, including adultery, can affect divorce. Infidelity can kill relationships and there’s often no coming back from cheating. But sometimes it also factors into the divorce when it negatively impacts the surrounding situation

Division of Property

Though it’s rare, one area where adultery in Washington and cheating may impact divorce is in the division of property. As there’s no blame to assign, adultery doesn’t usually come into play.

One situation where it can, however, is if cheating directly contributed to financial issues.

For example, if adultery contributes to economic hardships. Say, in the course of an affair, your ex drains your savings or racks up extensive hotel bills. Then the court may consider this when it comes time to settle.

Can Adultery Affect Child Custody?

If an affair negatively influences a person’s parenting ability. Like your ex forgot to pick up your child from band practice because of extramarital engagements. Things of that nature sometimes influence child custody decisions.

Perhaps it illustrates a larger pattern of neglect. Did your ex routinely choose infidelity over parental duties? Did they shack up in a hotel room instead of going to your child’s birthday party?

If you show cheating directly led to bad parenting choices, the court often considers that in child custody decisions.

Can Adultery Increase Alimony Payments?

Spousal support is another area where adultery may factor into your divorce thanks to no-fault statutes in Washington. It’s also another area where it’s difficult to demonstrate the concrete impact. Again, if you can prove that infidelity directly triggered an undue financial burden, it may apply.

Again, if your spouse drained your savings or ran up substantial credit card debt in the course of an affair. The court is more likely to consider that when it awards spousal support.

They may also consider significant emotional distress caused by adultery. In this case, however, it must be severe, like negatively impacting the ability to find or hold a job.

Related Reading: How Is Spousal Support Calculated In Washington?

Arguments For No-Fault Divorce

Proponents of no-fault divorce often cite suicide rates and incidents of domestic violence to back their claims. Both dropped in states that picked up this practice.

Also, they state that outside interests, like the courts, shouldn’t be able to determine whether a person has legitimate reasons for wanting out of a marriage. The simple fact you want out should be enough, even if your spouse doesn’t want to divorce.

Related Reading: Legal Marijuana and Its Impact on Child Custody

Arguments Against No-Fault Divorce

Opponents argue that no-fault divorce decreases the inherent value of marriage, that by making it easier to end a marriage, it lessens the significance of the matrimonial bond.

Another point of contention claims that often the person actually at fault is the one who files for divorce. In these situations, an abuser or cheating spouse ends a marriage with no consequences.

The list of why marriages and relationships break down is practically endless. It’s as long as the list of why people wed in the first place. Abuse, infidelity, and financial problems are just a few common causes. But sometimes people grow apart or want different things.

No-fault divorce helps smooth over the process and means neither party has to blame the other. You can end your marriage even if your spouse doesn’t want to divorce.

Related Reading: Common Mediation Questions

Conversations From The Radio

My Ex Won’t Play Ball

One of our founding partners, Rick Jones, regularly appears on the Danny Bonaduce and Sarah Morning Show. On the air, he takes family law questions from listeners. People often call in wondering about no-fault divorce, adultery, and many of the issues already discussed.

CALLER: “My wife and I filed a petition for divorce back in December last year. We both agreed on the division of property. We signed together, we filed, and then once the 90 days were up, she refused to sign the paperwork to finalize the find of facts and dissolution papers.

“Since she already signed the initial papers and agreed to the divorce and now she’s changing her mind, what are my options?”

Rick: “A couple of things. The first thing I would say is that filing the initial papers doesn’t mean the agreement’s binding. That’s why Washington State has that 90-day waiting period. That’s why you couldn’t get it done in December when you filed. So, she has that right within the 90 days to back out.

“For her to back out though, out of that tentative agreement, there are some steps she needs to follow. For example, she would have needed to do what’s called a ‘response to the petition.’ That basically says to the court, he filed, and she needs to [respond]. If she hasn’t done that, you can do what’s called a ‘motion for default.’

“You basically say, look, more than 90 days have elapsed. She’s obviously been served with the documents, therefore I’m asking for this case to be closed on the terms of our original petition.

“The problem with that is that it’s kind of like a tennis match. Yes, you do that motion, but she’s going to respond and say, ‘No wait, I’m here.’ The courts are going to be very liberal about giving somebody their opportunity to have a day in court.

“Unfortunately, you thought you had an agreement in December. You’re really like most everybody else in that you’ve got a divorce filed, now you need to reach an agreement with her.”

Related Reading: Preparing for a Divorce Consultation

*

Can I Take His Dog?

CALLER: “I am really upset this morning. I caught my husband cheating last night. And I am ready to take him for everything he’s got. Including his dog. I will take his dog. I can’t believe he cheated on me. But my question is if I divorce him can I take it all? It’s all his fault. I haven’t cheated, I’ve been faithful. ”

Danny: “Well, I’ll tell you the bad news and then I’ll turn it over to a real live lawyer. I don’t mean this about me or the show, we love you and care about you, but legally speaking, I don’t think anybody cares, Janet. Let’s find out from an expert, Rick Jones.”

Rick: “What Danny is referring to is what’s called a ‘No-Fault’ state. Meaning the issue of fault doesn’t have anything to do with financial issues, dividing up assets, and liabilities.

“The reason they do that–not to be an additional thorn in your side, and I certainly feel bad for what you’re experiencing right now–but the reason they do that is that it would open up so many levels of litigation in what’s already just a packed court docket.

“So the reality from an attorney’s perspective is, you want to get an attorney that will treat it as a business transaction. In other words, get this done, move on. Those assets that otherwise you’re going for would end up getting frittered away with the amount of attorney fees you’d have to go after this litigation. So ultimately the pain you’re feeling will mitigate.”

Danny: “Can I tell you something, Janet? And I am adamant about this. You don’t have to do any of this right now. It’s like going shopping when you’re hungry. You’re mad, you’re going to call a lawyer before you do anything, and that’s a great idea, get yourself a lawyer.

“But you don’t have to divorce him today. Retain good counsel, but give yourself a minute to breathe. Because you’re real mad, and you don’t often go after peoples’ dogs, that’s all I’m saying, Janet. Calm down, take a breath and think about what you want to do with the rest of your life because this is an important decision.”

Related Reading: Pet Custody in Washington State

*

Brother Versus Brother

CALLER: “My job takes me away for days on end. [A] couple days, sometimes weeks. I came home recently to find out my brother has been sleeping with my wife. And I’d like a divorce.”

Danny: “I bet you would. I bet you want a divorce from your brother as well. I will tell you this, I don’t know the answer to this, but I do know how life works.”

Rick: “Well, first of all, I’m going to apologize for what you’re going through. Ultimately, it puts you in the same boat as everybody else that wants a divorce, which is that, simply put, you put one foot in front of the other.

“You start by getting the case filed. Then you address any temporary issues, for example, the living situation might be a bit uncomfortable.”

Danny: “Oh so you gotta get that, you’re right. I went through that. I didn’t even think about that, because it was a big house with a basement. He’s got to figure out a place for him or for her.”

Rick: “Or for her, exactly. So that’s what I mean in terms of putting one foot in front of the other. There’s nothing that stops you from getting a case filed right now.

“The other thing for you to know, and for everyone else to hear, that fact of what she and your brother is doing is morally reprehensible, doesn’t matter when it comes to issues that arise during a divorce.

“It’s still going to be diving up assets and liabilities. If you have children you have to address that. There may be some issues you want to raise though regarding parenting. But ultimately it’s one foot in front of the other.”

Danny: “Great advice by the way, and I happen to know this, from you of course, that Washington, is a ‘no-fault state.’ It doesn’t matter that she had sex with his brother, right?”

Rick: “Correct.”

Related Reading: How Is Debt Divided During A Divorce? In-Depth

*

What Are The First Steps To Divorce?

CALLER: “So I’ve been married for about two years and my wife recently admitted she cheated on me. I was curious about what the first steps to my divorce would be?”

Danny: “You’re going to hate this.”

Rick: “I think what you’re wanting to hear is, or what everybody should learn at least–and this isn’t necessarily your question–but Washington is what’s called a no-fault state.

“So the fact that she stepped outside of her marriage and obviously not lived up to her vows does not result in any necessary harm to her. It doesn’t mean you get a better deal.”

Danny: “I hate this so much. Yet I was the cheater, so I’m kinda glad. But Rick’s telling the truth man. You don’t get any more or less because someone is a cheater and a liar.”

Rick: “That’s right. Now the question is though, it obviously sounds like you’ve processed this and said, “I’m done.” So to answer your question on where you start, there are a couple of ways to go about it.

“Obviously a case needs to be filed, so you need to start the process. You don’t need to have a settlement prior to starting this, so start the clock ticking.

“A divorce in Washington takes 90 days. Even if you do come to an agreement right away, it takes 90 days at a minimum. It could take upwards of a year if there are contested issues that you can’t agree to right away.”

Rick: “So the first step is to get a case filed. What you really probably want to do though is pick up the phone and call my office, or frankly anybody else, and give them a little bit of background. ‘We’ve been married two years. We have kids or we don’t. Here’s what we’ve accumulated. Tell me what this is like, what’s it going to be like for me.’

That way you’re in a position to be more educated about the various decisions and options you’ve got coming up.”

Danny: “Joe, is there any chance you could work this out?”

Caller: “No, we’ve been falling apart for about a year now. So this is kind of a long time coming.”

Danny: “All right, you’ve heard from the expert himself. It doesn’t matter to the court who did what, just run right out and get a lawyer, and start protecting your assets.” 

Related Reading: How Much Does Divorce Cost In Washington State

The post Is Washington A No-Fault Divorce State? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

As with most questions surrounding this topic, the best time to divorce is relative. No two situations are ever the same, so there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. It truly all depends on the circumstances.

Is There A Good Time To Divorce?

January has become known as “Divorce Month,” a season when couples look into their options for ending a marriage. People often put off such an unpleasant task until after the holidays. Holiday stress can also trigger the decision. End-of-the-year financial reasons, like taxes or work bonuses, frequently play a role. And sometimes people just want a fresh start in the new year.

A study from the University of Washington supports this anecdotal evidence with numbers. Examining data from 2001 through 2015, researchers found that divorce filings rise sharply beginning in January, though the numbers don’t truly spike until March. During this time, people often explore their options, save money, talk to attorneys, and generally establish a plan of action.

Because it takes so long, many people look at this as the best time to divorce. If you file early in the year, timing-wise, you’re more likely to wrap things up during the summer. This is a consideration when there are kids. Once finalized, parents can establish a new routine along with a new school year. This can normalize things and help kids adjust. Courts are also hesitant to cause wholesale change for kids during a school year. They’re often more open to altering a custody situation during the summer.

But January isn’t the only divorce month. The January-to-March window sees a bump in divorce filings of 33%. However, the period from July to August also sees a similar leap, climbing by 30%. This is a time when kids are out of school, families go on vacation, and fragile marriages feel a great deal of pressure.

Related Reading: Should You Hire A Divorce Attorney?

Should you stay married for the kids?

A common refrain is that people stay in otherwise unhappy marriages for the kids. Parents may not want to cause undue stress or shake up a child’s life too much. So instead, they put off the inevitable. It’s the grin-and-bear-it approach.

Many couples wait until their kids grow up, go to college, or otherwise move out. These people consider this the best time to divorce for their situation. Whether or not that’s true is a topic of some debate. Some couples may pull it off. It’s one thing if you’re simply not in love anymore but can remain amicable.

On the other hand, in high-conflict cases, it may cause more harm than good. If all a couple does is fight, staying together when they otherwise wouldn’t often intensifies those ill feelings. And with kids stuck in the middle, all that strife may wind up worse than the parents separating.

Again, it’s all relative. For some couples, the best time to divorce may be after the kids have moved out. In other situations, maybe they shouldn’t wait.

Related Reading: What Are the Odds of Getting Full Custody?

Retirement Benefits

When a marriage hits the ten-year mark, spouses often become eligible for certain retirement benefits. After that milestone, you can claim Social Security based on your former spouse’s work history. When it comes to military pensions, the length of marriage impacts how much a spouse can claim in the divorce.

Because age and the length of a marriage impact divorce settlements, some couples delay filing. This also depends on how close and whether or not the spouses can stand to stay together. But some couples wait until they get to a point where it seems like the best time to divorce.

Related Reading: 8 Ways to Rebuild Finances After Divorce

Health Insurance

Health insurance is a big issue, one that leads some couples to put off ending their marriage. In most cases, you can’t remain on your ex’s insurance after divorce. This is a big problem, especially as people age or deal with chronic, continuing health concerns. Unless you can afford separate coverage, or acquire your own, it’s a problem for many people.

Some people remain married until they reach the age to qualify for Medicare. Usually, this isn’t until 65, unless you have a disability. Regardless of age, the best time to divorce may be after you’ve carefully considered your health care options.

Related Reading: How Divorce Affects Health Insurance

Legal Separation

In some cases, couples opt for legal separation instead of divorce. While divorce legally dissolves a marriage, with legal separation, it remains technically intact. For all intents and purposes, the relationship is over. Legal separation also often involves parenting plans, spousal support, and other court orders, much like a divorce.

Still, people choose this option for many reasons. Finances often figure in. Filing taxes as a married couple may save money. Couples wait until they qualify for Social Security or other retirement benefits. Spouses can still inherit property in legal separations. As mentioned above, health insurance is a big deal. In some cases, though not all, spouses remain covered even in cases of legal separation. This provides a workaround if people oppose divorce for religious or moral reasons.

In some instances, legal separation becomes a permanent state. For others, it’s temporary for one reason or another. A couple may want to wait until it’s the best time to divorce for their situation, biding their time until then.

The decision to end a marriage is huge, one of the biggest choices you’ll ever make. Many factors lead to this conclusion, and every situation plays out differently. One key element is finding the best time to divorce. What that means varies from one case to the next. For some, it may entail putting it off for a time, whether long or short. For others, it may need to happen ASAP.

Related Reading: Legal Separation Versus Divorce

The post When Is The Best Time To Divorce? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

As problems in your marriage mount, you may consider whether divorce is the best choice. The question of dissolving a marriage is ultimately an intense, difficult, and incredibly personal choice that throws your entire world into upheaval.

Having a skilled professional to guide you through the process can be a huge benefit during a time of emotional turmoil, where you may not always think clearly.

This may not be a comprehensive list, but ask these questions before hiring a divorce lawyer.

Related Reading: Pro Se Divorce – When To DIY

Do You Need A Divorce Lawyer?

By the time you get to this stage, you’ve probably asked things like why you’re staying married or if you can possibly salvage your relationship. These are important topics to be sure. However, they’re also relatively unrelated to whether or not you should hire a divorce lawyer.

At this point, you’ve likely decided to dissolve your marriage. It’s more a matter of when and how than if. The next step is to figure out if you need representation in the coming split.

With the proliferation of do-it-yourself divorce websites, online tools, and similar resources, you don’t necessarily need an attorney to end your marriage.

In many ways, the process can be relatively simple and straightforward.

You download the forms, fill them out, file them for a fee, and get a divorce.

At the same time, it also often becomes incredibly complex.

• Children and custody disputes commonly lead to issues.
• If you and your spouse have a great deal of shared property to divide, like homes, cars, or debts, that often creates friction.
• Age, health, future earning potential, the length of the marriage, and other issues also factor into your divorce settlement.

The more to argue over, and the more you and your spouse disagree about how to proceed, the more tangled things become.

The more complicated the situation, the more likely you’ll benefit from hiring a divorce lawyer to protect your rights and interests. An experienced attorney shepherds you through the process. They also provide peace of mind during stressful times.

Related Reading: 8 Ways People Damage Their Own Divorce Cases

The Benefits Of Hiring A Divorce Lawyer

It’s possible to handle the details of a split yourself. This fits best in shorter marriages, ones with no children, and little in the way of shared property to distribute. As already indicated, the more intertwined the lives of you and your spouse, the more contentious things become. This increases the likelihood you need the guidance of a divorce lawyer.

If your spouse enlists an attorney, strongly consider finding your own representation. If for no other reason than this puts you on even footing. Beyond that, the presence of a divorce lawyer proves useful in many additional areas.

Related Reading: How to File for Divorce in Washington

Division Of Property

The more property you and your spouse own together, the more assets you have to divide. Thus, the more complicated the process.

Washington is a community property state. Under these statutes, all assets acquired during a marriage, even those held in one individual’s name, legally belong to both parties. In the case of divorce, this means the court divides everything between you and your spouse in an equitable fashion.

This doesn’t mean all the property will be split evenly, but assets will be distributed so each party comes out on relatively even footing.

You and your soon-to-be-ex can work together to come to terms. But if this becomes contentious, a lawyer or mediator helps you reach a fair agreement for everyone.

Related Reading: How Are Assets, Property, and Debt Divided in Washington State?

Child Custody

Child custody issues frequently cause problems in divorce. You and your spouse must resolve these issues. Again, it’s possible to come to an arrangement without outside help, but when kids come into play, things often get heated and messy.

Enlisting the services of a divorce lawyer experienced in these cases can be a huge benefit. They help calm down tense situations. Also, a professional can fight to ensure your rights as a parent. If you hope to protect your guardianship, custody claim, visitation, and more, you may be best served by hiring a veteran attorney.

Related Reading: Back to School Tips for Divorced Dads

Support

• • Child Support: If your divorce involves kids, child support comes into play. These payments provide for the continuing care of minor children. They cover the costs of food, clothing, shelter, education, and other necessities. In general, the party with the most overnights receives payments from the other. However, they can still be present in cases of 50/50 shared custody.
  • Spousal Support: Though not awarded in every case, the court often orders spousal support to help your former partner meet financial needs after a divorce. The amount of these payments is based on what is fair and equitable in a given situation. The amount often accounts for the age and health of both spouses, the length of the marriage, and future earning potential, among other factors. Spousal support may be awarded for a limited time or continue indefinitely.

Related Reading: Calculate Your Child Support Responsibility

Understanding Your Divorce Settlement

While the DIY methods result in a quicker, cheaper divorce, they often also lead to issues down the road.

Custody arrangements, parenting plans, and settlements become complicated. If you handle them yourself, unless you have a legal background, it’s easy to sign something you don’t fully understand.

These things can be difficult, not to mention expensive, to modify after the fact. And that will likely require professional legal help. Hiring a divorce lawyer upfront often heads off potential calamity in the future and ensures that you don’t get blindsided by issues you weren’t aware of.

Ending a marriage can be a complicated process. As in most legal cases, you will likely be best served by hiring a divorce lawyer, even if your situation appears relatively straightforward. Things get tangled in short order and an experienced attorney helps you understand what you’re agreeing to, explains your rights, and shows you how to achieve an optimal result.

Related Reading: Average Costs of Divorce in Washington State

The post When To Hire A Divorce Lawyer appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

Then there’s the big looming question you need to answer: How do I ask for divorce?

Is There a Good Way To Ask for Divorce?

This is a hard conversation, and not one anybody wants to have.

You probably want the result, which should leave you in a better place. (That’s the goal, right?) But by the time you get to this point, it’s more of a necessity than a desire. Whatever the situation, most people don’t look forward to this particular talk.

Still, it’s an important conversation to have. It’s the first step towards a new life. Hopefully, an improved one.

This is an emotional moment, and not one to take lightly or approach with reckless abandon. Divorce changes your entire life; where you live, how often you see your kids, your financial outlook, and more.

How you ask for divorce sets the tone for the entire process; the smoother the process, the better.

If you’re ready to ask for a divorce, it’s safe to say your marriage has serious problems. This decision may have been a long time coming. In reality, your spouse likely noticed as well. Or maybe that’s one of the issues.

Even if you’re both on the same page, the first discussion of divorce is often an emotional, volatile moment.

You have a lot to consider. Whether or not things go well or you fight about everything often hinges on this moment.

With that in mind, here are some things to consider when asking for a divorce.

Related Reading: Breaking Down Divorce By Generation

Don’t Broadcast It First

This should probably go without saying, but the first person who hears about this should be your spouse. Or at least one of the first.

Sure, you’ve bounced the idea off friends, family, and confidants. You may have even made the decision and told a close friend. But there’s a definite line.

Before you take to the social media mountaintop to declare your intentions to the world, you need to tell your spouse.

This isn’t news that should come from a Facebook post or because you had one too many at a party and blabbed all over.

Everyone will find out eventually, but the first people who need to know are the ones directly involved. If not, bitterness and hurt feelings often manifest in the divorce process. You may get friction where you wouldn’t have purely because of spite.

Related Reading: Can You Protect Your Business During Divorce?

Timing Is Everything

Timing really is everything. There’s never an ideal moment to ask for divorce. It will never be fun or easy. But consider when and where you bring up the subject.

Do it in person. This isn’t a conversation you have over email or text message. (Though in certain countries, you can divorce via text.) Don’t have a third party deliver the message. You need to be face-to-face for this one if possible. Unless, of course, your safety is an issue.

You may want to have your say and leave, but it’s also key to let your spouse have a turn. Most of the time, plan for a lengthy conversation. You may talk about your relationship, you may talk about the next steps, but odds are, there’s a great deal to discuss.

Pick a moment when neither of you has plans immediately after. Give yourself the necessary time and space. If you have kids, send them to your parents’ or a friend’s house. Telling them is a whole different conversation. Create the room to have a serious, in-depth talk free from interruptions.

Related Reading: Legal Separation Versus Divorce: Which is Better For You?

Prepare for the Worst

Do you expect screaming? Will things be thrown? Is there the potential for physical violence?

Are these extreme responses? Yes. But there almost certainly will be a reaction when you ask for divorce.

After being married, you know your spouse as well as anyone. You can likely anticipate the reaction.

• Will your request meet with a shocked cry or a shrug?
• Are you on the same page and both saw this coming?
• Will this lead to a shouting match or a quiet conversation?

Even if you think you know what to expect, prepare for surprises. This represents a hugely emotional event, and people don’t always act as you expect them to.

Honestly, what reaction you expect may play into how you approach the when and where of the conversation.

Related Reading: How Does Washington Handle Pet Custody?

Shut The Door When You Ask For Divorce

If you’ve made up your mind, if you’re 100% ironclad certain that ending your marriage is the right choice, the only choice, shut the door.

Broaching the subject of divorce is one thing. When you have ongoing problems, you may discuss it as an option or potential avenue. That’s often part of trying to repair a damaged relationship. Therapy, counseling, support groups, and many other tools exist if you still think you can save your union.

But if not, if there’s no hope of reconciliation, be direct and firm.

Be decisive and don’t leave vague possibilities dangling in the wind. In reality, you don’t ask for divorce. State definitively that you want to end the marriage. You don’t have to be mean about it, but don’t leave any doubt.

Related Reading: What if Your Ex Won’t Follow the Divorce Agreement?

Back to the Future

You probably don’t want to talk specifics as soon as you ask for a divorce, but it’s not a bad idea to consider what comes next. In most cases, you’ll need space to breathe and muddle through. But it’s also a good time to take stock of your situation.

Collect all the information you can about your shared finances.  Consider what you want and need out of the divorce settlement.

• Where do you have money?
• Where do you owe?
• What assets do you have to divide?
• Do you want the house?
• Do you want the car?
• This has a huge impact on your financial future.

If you have kids, think about child custody and what you want the parenting plan to look like. Do you want the most overnights, or is being a weekend parent the best fit for everyone? This is just the beginning of a long process.

You’ll ultimately have to gather documents, assess your finances, and plan for the future.

But while you may not need a step-by-step strategy at this exact moment, give it some thought. At the very least, have a good overall picture of your situation. It’s also a perfect time to consider hiring a divorce lawyer. That’s a process unto itself.

Related Reading: How Are Assets, Property, and Debt Divided in Washington State?

Asking for Divorce is A Tough Talk

It’s not easy or pleasant to ask for divorce and you’re probably in for a tough talk.

By the time you get here, it’s probably a necessity, even a relief, but that doesn’t make it fun. Consider the impact this conversation will have. Even if it’s clear as day, this may still come as a shock. Think about what you say, when and where, and how you say it.

This is a hard decision, probably one of the most difficult you’ll ever make. But if it truly is the right choice, it’s likely best for both of you.

Related Reading: What to Know BEFORE You Move Out of The House

The post How To Ask For Divorce appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

There’s a lot to fear out there, including some things related to divorce. How do you know what’s true or what isn’t? How can you tell if you’re dealing with a scary divorce fact or urban legend?

Usually, urban legends are the stuff of horror movies, a hook-handed madman preying on unsuspecting teens at Make-Out Point. But misinformation about divorce portrayed as fact can give unrealistic expectations and damage cases. Knowing what’s real and what’s not can go a long way toward defining your goals.

With that in mind, here are a few common urban legends and scary divorce facts you should know the truth about.

Urban Legend or Scary Divorce Fact?

Adultery Costs You Everything

Urban Legend: Many people think adultery costs a person everything in a divorce. You cheat, you lose the kids, the car, the house, and the dog, right?

That makes great drama for movies and TV, but that’s not usually the way it works. In reality, an affair may cost you your marriage, but it doesn’t necessarily impact divorce settlements.

Fact: As with most states in the union, Washington practices no-fault divorce. That means the courts don’t play moral police.

It also means no one takes the blame for ruining a marriage and you don’t have to prove anyone was in the wrong.

Unless adultery directly damages your finances, it’s not likely to play a part in the division of property. The same goes for custody disputes. If an affair hinders your ability as a parent, it’s more likely to play a role. But if not, it may not have the sway many people expect.

In-Depth Reading: How Does No-Fault Divorce Work In Washington?

Common-Law Marriage

Urban Legend: If you live with a partner for a certain number of years, the law considers you married, right?

People often throw around the term common-law marriage. It’s considered a kind of de facto marriage when two people live together as if married, but without actually tying the knot.

Fact: While a handful of states still have common-law marriage, Washington does not. It does, however, have committed intimate relationships.

Similar to common-law marriage, this is when a couple lives together in a marriage-like way. They cohabitate, pool resources, purchase property, and all the rest.

There are no specific criteria for committed intimate relationships, but the court considers things like the length of the coupling and the degree to which the two lives intertwine.

This protects individuals in long-term relationships. It also helps deal with legal and financial matters after a breakup. The proceedings often look similar to divorces, with couples splitting assets, working out parenting plans, and all the rest.

Related Reading: Does Washington Have Common-Law Marriage?

Mothers Always Get Custody

Urban Legend: The deck is stacked against fathers. Mothers always get the kids.

These are statements you hear often. Many believe that when it comes to child custody cases, the courts automatically hand children over to the mother.

Fact: Though many men feel they’re at a disadvantage in child custody battles, legally speaking, there’s no preference given to parents based on gender.

Admittedly, it doesn’t always work out like the letter of the law. But on paper, each parent has the same right to pursue custody.

The overriding goal is to serve the child’s best interests. Above any other factors, that principle guides custody decisions. So unless there are extreme circumstances, even if you don’t get custody, you have the right to pursue visitation.

Related Reading: What To Expect From Child Custody Hearings

You Can Deny A Divorce

Urban Legend: “But what if my spouse won’t give me a divorce?” Again, this is something often heard on TV and in movies. It makes for good watching, but thankfully, real life isn’t a made-for-streaming melodrama.

Fact: No one can force you to remain in a loveless or dangerous marriage, and neither spouse can deny the other a divorce.

One person can make it tough on the other, that happens all the time, but the idea both parties have to agree to end a marriage is a common divorce urban legend.

Getting your spouse to consent to divorce makes it much easier, but it’s not required. You can fill out and file the paperwork and get the ball rolling.

Part of the process involves serving the documents to the opposing party. Your spouse then has a certain amount of time to respond. If that doesn’t happen, you can file for a default judgment. This essentially grants you a divorce on your terms because your spouse didn’t object.

Related Reading: What If My Spouse Doesn’t Want To Divorce?

All Divorces Go To Trial

Urban Legend: When you think of divorce, the first image that springs to mind is probably a courtroom. You have judges, gavels, and lawyers in suits. Both sides call witnesses, cross-examine, and make objections, and it all plays out like an episode of Law & Order.

Fact: A divorce can wind up in a courtroom. But not every last one winds up in front of a judge. In fact, most don’t.

Before things get that far, couples usually come to terms in one way or another. If both spouses agree on all the important issues, a split can be fairly simple. The less complex a marriage—short, no kids, little shared property—the smoother things often proceed.

Tools like mediation or arbitration are frequent options when there’s more conflict. These allow both sides to sit down, often with representation, and hammer out a mutually agreeable divorce settlement.

While they happen, the idea of an intense, drawn-out divorce trial remains more of an urban legend than a scary divorce fact.

Related Reading: What is Divorce Mediation?

Scary Divorce Facts

Big Wedding, Big Divorce

Weddings are huge milestones. People dream about these events for years and spend countless hours planning and perfecting the big day. While you want it to be flawless, consider dialing things down a bit.

The more a couple spends on engagement rings and wedding ceremonies, the more likely they are to divorce than a couple who spends less.

From a certain perspective, it makes sense. Elaborate weddings don’t come cheap. And money is one of the most common sources of friction in marriages. If you start off your wedded bliss in a massive pile of debt from the party, that may lead to trouble.

Related Reading: How You Dress For Court Is Important

Health Risks

The mental health risks following divorce are well documented. Self-esteem takes a hit and depression spikes after a marriage fails. But divorce also poses a variety of physical health risks, especially for men.

Instances of diabetes, substance abuse, hypertension, heart disease, and even cancer rise in the wake of divorce.

Suicide rates in men also soar following divorce. It’s a tough time and it’s easy to let yourself go, skip the gym, and eat McDonald’s for dinner every night. But it’s also vital to look after your health and well-being, both physical and mental. The people who care about you will appreciate the effort.

Related Reading: Men’s Health and Divorce

Long Commute Times

No one likes a long commute, but many of us slog through it day after day. Finding something good to listen to is an all too common struggle.

Sure, it may impact your mood, but a long commute can also have a detrimental impact on your marriage.

A nationwide study out of Sweden found that when one spouse commutes more than 45 minutes each way, couples have a much higher risk of divorce.

Related Reading: When to Hire a Divorce Lawyer

Smoking Is Bad For Your Marital Health

By now everyone knows smoking cigarettes is bad for your health. What you may not know is that it’s also bad for the health of your marriage.

Over the years, a number of studies, including ones from the University of Michigan and the Australian National University, looked at the relationship between cigarettes and divorce.

All of these found, to varying degrees, that people who smoke experience a much higher incidence of divorce than nonsmokers.

There’s not necessarily a direct causal link—researchers have also examined the connection between smoking and mental stability and as a compatibility factor in relationships—but there is a definite association.

Related Reading: Social Media and Divorce

Cohabitation Before Divorce Can Increase Your Chance Of Divorce

Many couples view living together before marriage as a kind of practice run, a marital test drive if you will. On paper, that’s sound logic. You can see if you’re truly compatible before taking the next step.

In practice, however, that’s not always the case, as data says otherwise.

According to the numbers, couples who live together before marriage have a higher likelihood of divorce before their marriage hits the ten-year mark.

These are just a few common misconceptions people have about ending a marriage. A quick Google search will unearth countless other divorce urban legends and frightening tales of divorce woe. With all the misinformation, it’s important to know what’s true and what’s false. You don’t want to go into your divorce with unrealistic expectations that may hurt your case or think that you have no chance to reach your goals because your cousin’s uncle’s mechanic said so.

Related Reading: Breaking Down Divorce Rates By Generation

The post Scary Divorce Fact Or Urban Legend? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

Annulments can be confusing and needing one can be stressful. You likely have questions that need to be answered and the starting point can be unclear. Fortunately, we can help.

What Is An Annulment?

To start, while the word annulment is commonly used, the legal term in Washington is a declaration of invalidity. As the name implies, this petition declares a marriage.

Annulment is usually associated with the Catholic church. Traditional Catholicism didn’t allow divorce, but if you annulled a marriage, it was as if it never happened.

The Difference Between A Divorce and A Declaration of Invalidity

A few key differences exist between a divorce and a declaration of invalidity.

With a divorce, both parties dissolve a valid marriage through legal legal channels.

A declaration of invalidity asserts that the marriage was never valid in the first place. From that point forward it is as if it never existed. On a technical level, you were never married.

Either spouse can petition for a declaration of invalidity, though they must prove why the union should be voided. This burden falls on the person seeking the annulment.

Related Reading: Moving Out: What You Need To Know Before You Go

How to File for Declaration of Invalidity?

In Washington, you must file a Petition for Declaration Concerning Validity in the superior court of the county where one spouse resides. It doesn’t have to be yours, but one of you must live there.

After filing the petition, you must serve the opposing party. The superior court clerk’s office, where the petition was filed, can explain the different options to serve a spouse, such as what to do if your spouse lives out of the state or can’t be located.

Once you do all of this, there will be a hearing. Both parties then state their cases about why the marriage is or isn’t legitimate.

Related Reading: A Guide to File for Divorce in Washington

Do You Qualify for A Declaration of Invalidity?

Annulment is rare compared to divorce, but it still happens occasionally. In Washington, there must be specific cause to petition for a marriage to be declared invalid under RCW 26.09.040.

The court requires specific examples of why the marriage is illegitimate. Reasons include but are not limited to:

• One or both parties were underage and lacked parental or court approval.
• One party was already married.
• One or both parties lacked the capacity to consent because of mental incapacity.
• One or both parties lacked the ability to consent due to the influence of alcohol or other incapacitating substances.
• Either one or both parties were forced into the marriage under duress.
• Either one or both parties were induced to enter the marriage by fraud.
• The parties have not ratified their marriage by voluntarily cohabitating.
• The spouses are close blood relatives.

It’s also important to note that for the state to consider a marriage invalid because of fraud, the fraud must directly relate to the marriage. For example, one party hid a venereal disease or knowingly concealed a pregnancy.

If you don’t meet one of these requirements, you will likely have to follow a traditional path and divorce.

Related Reading: Divorce After a Brief Marriage

Do You Divide Property In A Declaration of Invalidity?

Like a divorce, once the marriage is declared invalid, you have other issues to resolve.

There are assets and debts to divide, custody to determine, and more. Child support, spousal maintenance, restraining orders, and attorney fees; you have all the usual matters to deal with.

In reality, annulment usually only applies in shorter marriages, so issues like these don’t often come into play. If you’ve been married for 50 years, bought a house, raised a couple of kids to adulthood, and all the rest, annulment likely isn’t an option.

If you are considering getting an annulment and are unsure if your marriage qualifies or have questions regarding a declaration of invalidity, it’s in your best interest to consult an attorney. A lawyer specializing in divorce will most likely be the best resource for information regarding your situation.

Related Reading: How the Division of Property Works in Washington

Question From The Radio

One of our founding partners, Rick Jones, has a regular guest spot on 102.5 KZOK. On the air, he takes family law questions from listeners, including this one related to the topic of annulment.

Caller: So, I got married in Vegas a few weeks ago. Cliché, I know. The night is a bit hard, but how do I find out if I’m, like, legally married or if it was, like, a stunt?

Rick: Oh. Well, did you get, did you get any sort of marriage license? Did you sign anything there at the end of the process?

Caller: I’m not gonna lie. I remember signing something, but like I said, it was more drinks than I have ever had.

Rick: Wow. Sure, sure. And how long ago did you say this was?

Caller: A few weeks ago.

Rick: Okay. Do you guys live together?

Caller: No.

Rick: Okay. What I can’t tell you is whether or not you actually got legally married.

What I can tell you, though, is if you did get married, there’s certainly a way to back out. The downside is you’re going to have to jump through some hoops, and it’s probably going to cost you a few bucks. But ultimately, what you can do is rather than go through a divorce, you can basically seek for the marriage to be declared invalid.

So, in other words, really just sort of take it out saying the marriage was really never valid to begin with. And really what you need to show is things like, well, it was only two weeks ago. There’s a reason why it was hazy. Oh, by the way, we then haven’t got to act as if we’re married either.

But you do need to go through the process. First, check whether or not there was a marriage license. And maybe you call her to see what she’s got. And, if there is, then, you know, you do need to go through the court and file a motion to have it be declared invalid.

Caller: Awesome. (background laughter)

Sarah: So, so there is no, like, magical database that Mark can go to that shows your marital status or like, you know, in, in Las Vegas or Nevada. There’s no way of him, like, looking to see. Yeah, I see that’s the problem. Especially when it’s, when it’s a Vegas, you know, Vegas wedding, Reno wedding, that type of thing.

I actually just don’t know how you would reach out to the state of Nevada, to find that out. There certainly is a way in the state of Washington. The Department of Vital Statistics obviously has to keep records like that. So there certainly is a process, that he could go through.

Two weeks in, I don’t know if they’ve logged it. That would be the concern.

The post Can You Get An Annulment In Washington? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.