What is a Divorce Decree?

A divorce decree represents the court’s final ruling on the matter at hand.

On a practical level, it grants the dissolution of marriage and lays out the basic information regarding the split. This includes the case number, divorce date, and each party’s responsibilities.

What’s In A Divorce Decree?

This document covers many topics, but what exactly should you expect to see in your divorce decree?

Division Of Property

Different states handle the division of property in different ways. Washington follows community property guidelines when splitting up shared assets in a divorce.

As a concept, this is fairly straightforward. All property acquired during your marriage, even items held in one individual’s name, belongs equally to both parties. In a legal sense. When it comes to divorce, the court aims to divide this property in an equitable fashion.

This doesn’t mean you split everything equally between the two of you. In community property states, the division of assets will be such that both parties come out on a relatively even footing.

Spouses can work together to reach an arrangement, enlist the aid of mediators, or allow the court to determine how to break up any assets. Whatever path you take, both sides must agree to the settlement. This forms a key part of the divorce decree.

Related Reading: High Asset Divorce

Division Of Debt

Much like property, possessions, and assets accrued during a marriage are viewed as community property, so too is debt. Finalizing a divorce doesn’t change any financial obligations you incurred while married.

For example, if you have a mortgage, car loan, or other shared debt in your name, you remain responsible for that debt.

If you owe substantial amounts, during the settlement negotiations you and your spouse must decide who remains responsible for what. Your divorce decree outlines these obligations.

Just because the decree orders your ex to handle a specific debt doesn’t mean they always do. In a perfect world, yes, but we don’t live in a perfect world.

If they miss payments, it can negatively impact you and your credit. You may even wind up being sent to collections.

In these situations, agreements often include the requirement that your ex refinances a loan to remove your name. Still, it may be in your best financial interest to follow up and make sure this actually happens.

Related Reading: Rebuilding Finances and Protecting Your Credit Score After a Divorce

Custody And Visitation

When a split involves minor children, divorce proceedings often become even more heated and contentious. In these cases, a big part of the process will be determining which parent has primary physical custody, establishing a schedule moving forward, and creating a parenting plan.

Part of this arrangement includes visitation. The specifics must be worked out between you and your spouse or be ruled on by the court. Though many parents work diligently to establish visitation and remain a part of their children’s lives, it’s easy to let them get trampled on later.

Even after the divorce decree, if your ex pushes boundaries and violates the agreement, you may have to take measures to enforce your parental rights.

Related Reading: What Does a Parenting Plan Include?

Child Support

If children figure into your divorce, child support usually becomes one of the biggest pieces of your financial puzzle moving forward. Whether you make or receive these payments depends on the custody arrangement.

The parent with the most overnights usually gets the money. However, child support can be awarded in cases of 50/50 shared custody. Most often this boils down to financial need and the ability to pay.

Child support provides for the continuing care of your kids following a divorce. They cover everything from necessities, like food, shelter, and medical care, to education and beyond. If this is a part of your separation, your divorce decree should include the specifics of child support. This includes the amount, who pays, how to make or receive payments, and more.

Related Reading: Frequently Asked Child Support Questions Answered

Spousal Support

Though not awarded in every case, spousal support often pops up in divorce.

If it does, it also appears in your divorce decree. Following the dissolution of a marriage, these payments, commonly called alimony, help spouses meet any financial needs.

Not as formulaic as child support, a number of factors impact the amount. This includes the age and health of both parties, the length of the marriage, future earning potential, and more.

Depending on the situation, spousal support can be short-term and temporary or continue indefinitely. The court may order alimony for a brief time to help one spouse transition back to single life or even obtain training to reenter the workforce.

If one party contributed significantly to the employment prospects of the other, or if a great divide in earning potential exists, alimony may also be assigned.

In cases of continuing financial need, lingering health issues, and more, the court often orders spousal support indefinitely.

Related Reading: How Is Spousal Support Calculated?

Before You Sign Your Divorce Decree

If you paid attention during the process, you shouldn’t find any surprises in your divorce decree.

Whether you worked with your spouse, with attorneys, used mediation, or allowed the court to rule, these are all terms to which you previously agreed.

Still, make sure to give the document a close look. Read it thoroughly before you sign and send it to the judge to be finalized. You’ll want to examine it for any mistakes, unclear language, or anything that has changed. Things like this need to be taken care of before signing.

After the divorce decree is official, making changes, even in the case of errors, gets tricky and expensive.

As with most legal matters, you may want to enlist the services of a skilled divorce lawyer. Even if you handled everything yourself, it never hurts to have an experienced professional double-check the work. A few hundred dollars now often saves you money, time, and headaches down the road.

Related Reading: Can You Protect Your Business in Divorce?

Questions From The Radio

One of our founding partners, Rick Jones, has a regular guest spot on KZOK 102.5. On the air, he takes family law questions from listeners, including one related to this topic.

Listen to the Conversation Below:

CALLER: “My wife and I filed a petition for divorce back in December last year. We both agreed on the division of property, we signed together, we filed, and then once the 90 days were up, she refused to sign the paperwork to finalize the find of facts and dissolution papers.

“Since she already signed the initial papers and agreed to the divorce and now she’s changing her mind, what are my options?”

Rick: “A couple of things. The first thing I would say is that filing the initial papers doesn’t mean the agreement’s binding. That’s why Washington State has that 90-day waiting period. That’s why you couldn’t get it done in December when you filed. So, she has that right within 90 days to back out.

“For her to back out though, out of that tentative agreement, there are some steps she needs to follow. For example, she would have needed to do what’s called a ‘response to the petition.’ That basically says to the court, ‘He filed, and she needs to [respond]. If she hasn’t done that, you can do what’s called a motion for default.’

“You can basically say, ‘Look, more than 90 days have elapsed, she’s obviously been served with the documents, therefore I’m asking for this case to be closed on the terms of our original petition.’

“The problem with that is that its kind of like a tennis match. Yes, you do that motion, but she’s going to respond and say, ‘No wait, I’m here.’ The courts are going to be very liberal about giving somebody their opportunity to have a day in court.

“Unfortunately, you thought you had an agreement in December. You’re really like most everybody else in which you’ve got a divorce filed, now you need to reach an agreement with her.”

Related Reading: Preparing for a Divorce Consultation

The post Divorce Decrees: What You Need To Know appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

All too often, threats and domestic violence rear their ugly heads and participants must take steps to keep safe. In Washington, protection orders serve as a legal means of accomplishing this.

Types Of Protection Orders:

In cases where individuals require security from abuse, stalking, or harassment, it’s common to hear talk of restraining orders. This often leads to confusion.

While a restraining order is indeed one type of protection order, there are multiple kinds in Washington. Each carries its particulars and fits specific circumstances, situations, and criteria. These are the most common varieties that apply to family law cases.

Domestic Violence Protection Order

A domestic violence protection order is the most common type and is used to guard against threats and assault.

With various applications, this protection order demands the respondent not threaten or attack you, bars them from entering your home, or compels them to leave a shared residence.

If children figure into the picture, it can award temporary child custody to one parent and schedule a visitation. This protection order can also give you possession of personal property, like the use of a vehicle, and even force the respondent into counseling.

Restraining Orders

Often used as a catchall term for protection orders, restraining orders are a specific variety of protection order.

Most often filed as part of an existing case, like divorce or child custody, restraining orders tend to be broader in scope. Not only can they deal with abuse and domestic violence, they also cover financial concerns like property issues, child support, spousal support, and more.

If you fear your spouse could drain a joint bank account or run up massive credit card bills, a restraining order can block that. Multiple types exist, ranging from a temporary order good for 14 days to longer, even permanent decrees.

No-Contact Order

While restraining orders are part of existing family law cases, a no-contact order is issued during criminal proceedings.

These most often occur in cases of stalking and harassment. They protect victims from contact by their harasser in any form, including in-person, through a third party, and via phone, email, or even social media.

No-contact orders are generally shorter in duration than other protection orders and shield you during an ongoing criminal case. A temporary order lasts 14 days, though the court can set a longer period or extend the safeguard indefinitely.

Anti-harassment Order

Most protection orders revolve around people with existing relationships—spouses, significant others, family members, and the like. A civil anti-harassment order, however, usually applies to cases of harassment that fall outside of those domestic bonds.

For example, this may occur in stranger-on-stranger stalking situations and other types of harassment or a dispute between neighbors.

These protection orders pop up most often in circumstances where a person faces harassment but hasn’t yet been threatened or assaulted. They’re designed to cut off this bad behavior before the situation escalates and becomes dangerous.

Related Reading: What Is A Guardian Ad Litem?

Violating Protection Orders

Violating protection orders comes with significant consequences.

Knowingly and intentionally infringing on most types carries an automatic arrest. Anti-harassment orders are an exception, though if the situation dictates, discretionary arrest remains a possibility in these cases.

From there, the court may levy one of several charges against the offending party. Depending on the specific details and nature of the infraction, these also include potential criminal indictments ranging from a gross misdemeanor to felony assault charges.

Contempt of court is also on the table for violations of most protection orders.

How To Get a Protection Order

Fortunately for people suffering abuse, threats, stalking, and other harassment, it’s relatively straightforward to get a protection order in Washington.

Like most legal matters, you start the process by filling out and filing the appropriate forms. While you can find them at your local courthouse, they’re also available to download online. The more detailed information you provide about your situation, the better.

If you are in imminent danger, you can request an ex parte hearing. These usually happen that day, without notifying the harasser, and a judge may issue a temporary protection order.

In ex parte cases, you may even be able to have the hearing via phone. From there, the respondent must be served—for safety’s sake, don’t try to do it yourself—and you may set a court date for a permanent protection order within two weeks.

Courts issue protection orders for many reasons, but the overall purpose is to guard people against harm. If you have questions about whether or not you need one, consider consulting an attorney.

Related Reading: Dealing With Abuse Allegations

The post How Are Protection Orders Used in Divorce? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

While reality certainly resembles this on occasion, at a base level, filing for divorce in Washington isn’t as complex or intricate as you may assume.

It’s a progression to be sure, but the basic steps are relatively straightforward. Still, we often find ourselves addressing the topic of how to file for divorce in Washington.

Steps To Filing For Divorce In Washington

Like most things with divorce, real complications arise when people get involved. It will probably be in your best interest to consult an attorney regardless, but it never hurts to familiarize yourself ahead of time.

With that in mind, here is how to file for divorce in Washington state.

Complete The Divorce Forms

As with any process, there is a moment where it begins. In this situation, that moment is when one spouse completes the divorce form, also known as the petition for divorce.

The reasons you or your soon-to-be-ex want to dissolve your marriage are, more than likely complex. But Washington is a no-fault divorce state, which means that there is no need to prove that one party was to blame for the failure of the marriage.

There are two forms that are required for every divorce,  a “Confidential Information Form” and a “Certificate of Dissolution – Vital Statistics” form.

You’ll need to provide your information and that of your spouse, including:

• • Where you live.
  • When you married.
  • How long you have been married.
  • Your current living situation.

Additionally, you’ll be asked a number of questions about:

• • Any minor children.
  • Custody and guardianship.
  • Child support.
  • Spousal support.

You must also disclose any shared property to be divided at this time.

Related Reading: Divorce or Bankruptcy: Which to File First

File The Divorce Papers With The Court

What do you do after completing the proper forms? You file them with the court, of course.

When petitioning for a divorce in Washington, you must submit the appropriate paperwork in the county where you live. Not the one in which you were married, which is something many people believe.

Before you submit them once and for all, you may want to have an attorney give them a once over. It never hurts to make sure you filled everything out correctly.

When they are ready, make two copies—one for your records, one for your spouse—and go to the courthouse to submit them.

To file for divorce in Washington costs a few hundred dollars. As you’ll find out, every step usually has associated expenses.

Related Reading: Is Arbitration the Right Choice for Your Divorce?

Serve Your Spouse

The next step is to serve your spouse. This is where you have someone present the papers and declare your intentions. You may hire an outside process server to accomplish this, or an attorney can handle this part of the divorce proceedings.

You can’t do it yourself, but you can also enlist another adult to do it for you.

If this is an uncontested divorce, your spouse only needs to sign the Acceptance of Service to acknowledge that the documents have been delivered.

However you go about this step, the court cannot move forward until the papers have officially been received by your soon-to-be-ex.

Related Reading: 11 Divorce Strategies to Know Before Filing

Sign And File

Signing and filing the final documents is truly just that. There are a series of forms to fill out. This includes any notarized agreements you and your spouse come to regarding the division of assets and debts, custody, spousal and child support, and any other specific details the two sides work out.

Again, you probably want an attorney or member of the court to check these out to make sure you filled them out correctly.

After you reach a final agreement—on your own, with the help of counsel, or through trial or mediation—the court looks over your paperwork, confirms it’s all in order, and signs off.

Once you complete this step, your divorce becomes official.

Where Things Get Messy

It’s in between the serving of the papers and the signing and filing of the final documents where things so often get messy and complicated.

In the case of an uncontested divorce in Washington, the situation may involve little more than both parties signing a few forms.

If you or your spouse contests anything , however, things often become adversarial.

You may have to go to trial, arbitration, or at least mediation, in order to hash things out. Depending on the amount of conflict, the court may subpoena financial records, interview friends and family members, and more.

This is where you see the biggest benefits of having a divorce attorney.

As you navigate these precarious waters, you and your spouse both present your respective cases. If you can’t reach an agreement, the court must rule when it comes to child custody and visitation, division of property, debt and assets, child and spousal support, and any other disputed areas.

In this type of combative situation, you may very well want an experienced hand guiding you towards an optimal outcome.

Related Reading: What is Mediation? Different Types of Mediation Styles

More to Know About Filing For Divorce

Washington is a community property state

There are two approaches to dividing marital assets in a divorce: equitable distribution and community property.

Equitable distribution is used in 41 of the 50 states, making it more common than community property. The equitable distribution model provides judges more discretion and flexibility in dividing assets and debts.

Washington is one of the nine states that use the community property model instead of equitable distribution. Community property treats all marital assets as joint holdings, even if it was acquired in only one spouse’s name. In short, everything belongs equally to both of you in the eyes of the court.

To exclude property acquired during the marriage from being considered community property, the item must be solely in one spouse’s name and purchased and maintained with money held separately from the other spouse. Other exclusions also exist in cases like gifts or inheritances.

Related Reading: Moving Out During Divorce: What to Know Before You Go

Washington State Has A Waiting Period

Almost every state has a waiting period that must elapse before a divorce becomes final.

At a minimum, divorce in Washington requires a 90-day waiting period before it can be finalized. This means it will be at least three months between when you file the paperwork and when a judge signs off on your case.

During this time, the court often issues temporary orders regarding custody, parenting plans, financial support, and conduct.

If your spouse has objections, you disagree on key points, or other impediments arise, this process often lasts much, much longer than 90 days.

Should your case go to trial, it may take up to a year to schedule. The more back-and-forth about issues like custody, alimony, visitation, and splitting up assets, the more time and effort your divorce takes.

To be honest, the process usually takes longer than 90 days anyway, so the waiting period doesn’t often have a huge impact.

Related Reading: What Is Pro Se Divorce? A Look At DIY

Choices you make now have lasting consequences

The choices you make now affect your financial future for five, ten, even 20 years or beyond.

Many people going through a divorce want to get it over with ASAP. Unfortunately, rushing through the process comes with long-lasting negative effects.

Remember, once the ink dries on your divorce agreement, you have to live with those decisions.

Choosing your battles wisely saves you money, time, and headaches during the proceedings. Also, try to be realistic about what your financial situation will be after the divorce.

If you can’t afford to maintain your house, boat, or vacation property post-divorce, don’t fight for over it just to spite your ex. Really think about what’s important and what you can afford. Those are often the best things to focus on.

Related Reading: Can You File For Bankruptcy During a Divorce?

Your debt will also be divided in your divorce

Dividing assets is a major part of the divorce process. What many people fail to consider is that debt also gets divided the same way.

Debt accrued during the marriage, and even some debt that was brought into the marriage, gets divided between spouses.

Unfortunately, dividing debt in a divorce doesn’t always mean you won’t be required to pay down the road. Divorce doesn’t automatically remove your name from any existing financial agreements. If the court orders your ex to pay a joint loan, but they don’t, if your name remains on the paperwork, you remain liable for the obligation.

As this process can become incredibly complex in relatively short order, it will, again, likely be in your best interest to retain the services of an attorney. Even if you take the do-it-yourself route, consulting a lawyer ensures you filled out the proper forms in the correct manner. That peace of mind can be a huge comfort as you end one chapter of your life and move forward into another.

Related Reading: How Is Debt Divided During A Divorce? In-Depth

The post How To File For Divorce in Washington State appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

The minimum amount of time required to finalize a divorce varies from state to state. In some, like New Hampshire, it only takes a couple of weeks. Others, however, have a mandatory waiting period that exceeds six months.

Does Washington Have A Waiting Period For Divorce?

The short answer is: In Washington, divorce takes a minimum of 90 days. That’s the absolute minimum, but many take much longer.

The 90-day clock starts when you or your spouse file the divorce action. If you both agree on every aspect of your case, the judge may sign your divorce decree after the three months is up. Presto, your divorce is finalized.

But you have to agree on everything. This includes the division of assets and debts, child custody, child support, spousal support, and any other issues.

Unfortunately, not all divorces are so simple. Shocking, right?

The more you have to fight about, the more complicated the process becomes. With every disagreement, point of contention, and new wrinkle, the finish line gets farther away.

Why Can Divorces Take Longer Than 90 Days?

Contentious splits not only often require more time, but also additional expenses and resources.

The more complex the case, the more likely you are to require the services of a divorce lawyer.  When you add kids to care for and assets to divide, it prolongs the process, often by months or more.

But additional services aren’t limited to your attorney. You may need to enlist a variety of other professionals along the way. These are just a few types of experts you may need depending on the complexity of your situation and how contentious your divorce becomes.

Related Reading: Can You File For Bankruptcy During a Divorce?

Common Experts Needed in A Divorce Proceeding:

• • Guardian Ad Litem.
  • Forensic Accountant.
  • Financial Planner.
  • Home Appraiser.
  • Data Recovery Specialist.
  • Meditator or Arbitrator.
  • Private Investigator.
  • Special Master.
  • Parental Evaluation.
  • Process Server.
  • Vocational Evaluator.

Related Reading: How Is Debt Divided During A Divorce? In-Depth

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

So, 90 days is the minimum time it takes to divorce in Washington. As you see, however, many factors pop up to extend that timeframe.

If you can’t reach a settlement on your own or through mediation or arbitration, your case ultimately goes to trial. There a judge rules the case and determines the outcome. This, of course, takes a great deal of time. The courts commonly schedule trials months in advance.

On average, divorces that go to trial take over one year to finalize.

Related Reading: A House Divided: Splitting Up a Home in Divorce

From the Radio

One of our founding partners, Rick Jones, regularly hits the airwaves on 102.5 KZOK, where he answers pressing family law questions from listeners.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the question “How long does a divorce take in Washington” has come up. This call is a prime example of how a divorce can seem simple but ultimately take a long, long time.

Listen to the Conversation Below:

Caller: “Hi, I have somewhat of a simple divorce. [Audible groans in the background.] Coming up I have my discovery cutoff and in two weeks it’s the exchange of evidence. We don’t have any homes or children. However, when we split, she had me thrown out of the rental we had and moved in with her boyfriend [and] made a bunch of false statements in court documents.

“When I eventually filed for divorce, she quickly replied with a bunch more false statements. I’d like to know how I can present that on the discovery cutoff if I have to have my statement of evidence completed, or is that something I show up to court that day with the documents finished?”

Rick: “The first thing I’m hearing is, ‘I’ve got a simple divorce,’ yet you’re already up against your discovery cutoff, which means you’re getting to the doorstep of a trial. A simple divorce would have been done by now.

“Let’s switch gears to the middle question, which is what can I do about her making false statements or claims? And the question I really have is, are they anything relevant to the divorce? If she’s saying what a bad dude you are, it doesn’t matter, true or untrue. If all you have is assets and liabilities, Washington is a no-fault state.

“The third one is more procedural. By the time you get this close to the discovery cutoff–what that’s meant is to basically tell both sides, ‘Hey, if you want to get information, and you want the power of the court to go subpoena bank information or require something of the other person, that means you would have had to wrap it up by then.’ That’s what the discovery cutoff is.

“Then you fast-forward to that joint statement of evidence. Without getting too deep in the woods here, what’s required is that both [parties] present to the court prior to going to trial, so at least the issue is framed and nobody is getting surprised by what comes on at trial.”

Related Reading: How Can I Protect Myself During Divorce?

Email Question:

Listener: “First, thanks for doing this segment. I’ve been listening for a long time and you’ve helped so many people. It was always interesting information to me, but I honestly never thought I would have to use it myself.

“Well here I am, facing a divorce, and the one thing I haven’t heard you cover is how long the whole process takes. Honestly, I just want to get it over with and move on.

“What is the average time I should expect to be dealing with the courts and paperwork?”

Danny: “That’s a damn fine email there. I’m interested to know the answer myself, Rick.”

Rick: “First of all I want to give him a shout-back as well in terms of the thank you on this. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the forum, to be able to give info like this that people need to have, even before they make the call to the attorney. Now on to the question.

“How long a case takes is really going to be dependent on how long either: It takes to reach a settlement between the two people, or go to ultimately a decision, meaning trial.

“At the start of any case, we’ll use Washington as an example, there is a 90-day waiting period. You can have everything agreed upon on day one when the case is filed, you do have to wait 90 days.

So the quickest a divorce can take is 90 days. Now, beyond that, King County schedules a trial right up front. The day you file they schedule a trial for about eleven months down the road.

“So if your case doesn’t reach a settlement, through all the tools, mediation, etc, and it’s still open, then that trial date approaches and ultimately that’s the end of your case. Even though it’s a judge-made decision and not one on your own.

Sarah: “Did you say eleven months?”

Rick: “Yeah, and that’s only if the original trial date is the one that stands. It’s not uncommon for one or both sides to seek an initial continuance, and it’s commonly granted by the court, which would push it off another four to six months. So it’s not uncommon for a contested divorce to last up to two years.“

Related Reading: Mediation Questions Answered

The post Divorce in Washington: How Long Does It Take? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

What is Divorce Mediation?

Mediation is a form of alternate dispute resolution or ADR. As the name implies, this provides a legal path that isn’t litigation. Used in civil suits, including divorce and child custody cases, in mediation, both sides come together in an attempt to settle the matter before them.

This approach proves especially effective in family law situations. Facilitated by a third party, spouses use this process to reach agreements on divorce, custody, visitation, child support, spousal support, and most other cases.

Are divorce mediation agreements legally binding?

The short answer is no, mediation is not legally binding. You go through the process, but if the ultimate decision is unsatisfactory, terms aren’t forced on you.

At the end of the day, both parties must agree to the conditions on their own.

Mediators don’t pass judgment, they’re only present to grease the wheels and help the spouses reach agreements on the issues at hand. A judge ultimately must sign off on any divorce decision, but may not if a deal skews too far to one side.

Once official, then it becomes legally binding.

How Long Does It Take?

How long mediation takes varies greatly from one case to the next. It is, however, usually much faster and more streamlined than a lengthy trial. Most mediations only last a day or so.

They’re also often easier to schedule and fit into your life rather than taking what a court gives you, so they can be much more convenient. In most situations, mediations tend to be less complicated than cases that go to trial.

As with other cases, the more complex and contentious, the longer and more in-depth the process. Shorter cases also often mean lower costs, a nice bonus.

Related Reading: Dividing Debt in Divorce

Is Mediation Confidential?

One reason people often choose mediation is that it’s much more confidential. Cases don’t become part of the public record and conversations and communication between spouses stay private.

A professional code of conduct compels mediators to keep any information confidential and under wraps.

As with most legal matters, there are, of course, exceptions, like cases of child abuse or potential criminal actions that may cause harm. Still, it’s a behind-closed-doors affair and it’s easy to see why celebrities often opt for this route rather than a traditional court divorce.

Related Reading:  Are Divorce Records Public?

How Does It Differ From Arbitration?

Arbitration is another form of alternate dispute resolution. It’s similar to mediation in some regards but different in others. Again, both parties sit down with an outside third party instead of going to court. While spouses work together in mediation, arbitration can resemble a trial.

Both sides present arguments and evidence, and in these cases, the arbitrator has the power to make rulings.

Entering into the arbitration process is voluntary, but unlike mediation, the resulting judgments are legally binding.

Related Reading: Is Arbitration the Right Choice For You?

When Does Mediation Work Best?

Because mediation is not legally binding, it works best when divorcing couples are relatively amicable. Or at least when they’re willing and able to play nice long enough to hammer out an agreement.

People also choose mediation because it’s often significantly cheaper, faster, and less stressful than a standard trial.

Many couples try mediation before heading into the courtroom. Instead of sitting in front of a judge, the process essentially boils down to a small number of people working together to reach a common goal.

Related Reading: How to File for Divorce in Washington

How to Choose the Best Mediation Style

Within the larger category of mediation exist several different approaches. It’s important to pick the best mediation style for you and your case.

You can choose from evaluative mediation, facilitative mediation, and transformative mediation. Each varies in approach and comes with its own unique set of peculiarities.

The best mediation style for you depends on your circumstances and the specifics of your case. With the differences, there are situations where each may be the ideal fit.

Evaluative Mediation

This approach provides spouses with a clearer understanding of what a trial might look like in their case.

The mediator uses this opportunity to demonstrate how a judge or jury might look at the specifics and even point out flaws in one party’s position.

As evaluative mediation is similar to an actual trial, it often surfaces in civil suits like divorce. There’s room to work with conflict and former judges or attorneys who can explain the strengths and weaknesses of a particular case often serve as mediators.

In these situations, it’s common for the facilitator to put the spouses in separate rooms and bounce back and forth as each side makes offers and counteroffers.

Ultimately, the aim is to meet somewhere in the middle and land on a satisfying resolution for everyone. Of the three approaches, evaluative mediation focuses primarily on the result. The goal is to reach an agreement and avoid trial rather than spare individual interests and feelings.

If you’re simply looking for a settlement, this may be the best mediation style for you.

Facilitative Mediation

When it comes to this mediation style, the third party plays a less impactful role. He or she guides spouses through the process and makes sure they understand their options and the impact of their choices. Ideally, the result is a mutually beneficial resolution both parties agree on.

In facilitative mediation, the moderator is more removed. He or she asks questions and steers the proceedings but doesn’t usually interject or make suggestions.

In the end, it falls to the spouses involved to hash out and agree to terms on their own.

This may be the best mediation style in some instances, especially when the two sides share similar goals. In high-conflict situations, it may not always be as effective.

Transformative Mediation

This mediation style is most common when, in addition to settling a dispute, the two sides want to address and repair problems in their relationship. While the mediator supports both parties, this strategy aims to get each side to understand the other’s needs and position.

Transformative mediation is similar in style to its facilitative cousin but differs in a few key ways. A newer approach, it’s often looked at as a touchy-feely strategy.

Using this style, the mediator serves as more of an enabler, helping the two parties to grow and change—to transform.

It primarily focuses on mending fences and repairing a damaged relationship rather than reaching a definitive resolution. This can alleviate some pressure on clients, but it often leads to a longer process and fewer tangible results.

A transformative approach is usually the best mediation style when the participants want to preserve or salvage a relationship. If children play a part, this can be useful for parents trying to maintain civility and a future relationship for the sake of the kids.

Related Reading: Ways to Rebuild Finances And Credit Score After Divorce

Why Choose Mediation?

So, the question of the day is why choose mediation?

The quick answer is that it makes divorce quicker, cheaper, and easier. At least if you and your ex can play nice and act like adults.

Mediation also tends to be much less stressful. Instead of the pressure of appearing in court, presenting your case, and waiting for a decree, this is two people in a room working out an arrangement that, ideally, everyone can live with.

Mediation doesn’t work in every case. Some divorcing couples try but eventually wind up in court regardless. It’s not right for every situation, but if you can make it work, sometimes mediation is the optimal choice to end your marriage.

Related Reading: The Most Common Reasons for Divorce

Should You Hire A Lawyer For Mediation?

One reason many couples opt for mediation in divorce is that it doesn’t require legal counsel. Still, hiring a lawyer is worth consideration.

This is especially true if your spouse has an attorney as representing yourself can put you at a significant disadvantage. An experienced lawyer accompanies you to sessions and offers advice. And before you sign anything, they also ensure a settlement is fair and fits your needs.

Even if you do hire an attorney to help with mediation, the cost will almost certainly be much less than if you go to court.

Methods of dispute resolution like mediation offer an alternative to courtrooms and trials in divorce. But under that umbrella, you find many methods.

Some mediators subscribe to one or the other, while more use a pick-and-choose approach. The best mediation style for your case depends on the specifics of your situation, what you need, and what you hope to get out of the process.

Related Reading: When to Hire a Divorce Lawyer

QUESTIONS FROM THE RADIO

One of our founding partners, Rick Jones, has a regular guest spot on the KZOK 102.5. On the air, he takes family law questions from listeners, including ones related to this topic.

The post Divorce Mediation, How Does It Work? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

When you marry, you amass debt for two. Even more if you have kids.

The division of property forms a significant part of dissolving a marriage. So, too, does splitting up remaining financial obligations. People focus so much on doling out what they have they often forget about what they owe.

How Does The Court Divide Debt in Divorce?

Washington is a community property state. This means that the government views all assets, and debts, accrued during the marriage as the equal responsibility of both spouses.

That doesn’t, however, mean courts split everything down the middle in divorce.

The court’s primary goal is to ensure both parties come out of the marriage on a relatively even footing. Beyond that, they want each spouse to maintain a lifestyle similar to what they had while married.

While that may sound like a logical way to approach the situation, it often also include debts you weren’t aware of.

If you have separate credit cards, for instance, and your ex purchases a big-ticket item without your knowledge, you may be obliged to pay back that amount. In a community property state, it doesn’t necessarily matter whose name shows up on the bill, you both share the burden.

Divorce Doesn’t Change Loan Debt

One thing to carefully consider when dividing debt in divorce is any outstanding loans you have.

While ending a marriage affects nearly every aspect of your life, it doesn’t automatically alter any financial agreements you made with outside parties.

If your name appears on a home or car loan, divorce doesn’t change that. When you and your spouse establish a line of credit, those terms remain in place. Even if the marriage ends.

Creditors are only obliged to honor the conditions as they appear on the initial agreements. And we’ll say this again for those in the back: Divorce doesn’t automatically alter those contracts.

So, even if your ex gets the house in the divorce, if your name still appears on the paperwork, it can impact you. If your former spouse misses a mortgage payment, it negatively reflects on you.

If it gets bad enough, creditors may come after you for payment or take legal action against you.

Related Reading: Divorce or Bankruptcy: What to File First

Are You Responsible For Your Ex’s Debt?

When it comes to debt and divorce, what builds up during the marriage remains your issue to deal with. Pre-existing liabilities, however, are something else entirely.

Washington State Law says:

“Neither person in a marriage or state registered domestic partnership is liable for the debts or liabilities of the other incurred before marriage or state registered domestic partnership.”

That means you’re not on the hook for your ex’s old financial obligations.

Any lingering student loans amassed before your marriage aren’t your problem. Neither are those massive credit card bills your spouse ran up before you got together.

Related Reading: What’s The Difference Between Legal Separation and Divorce?

What if Your Ex Ran Up Debt Without Your Knowledge?

Again, since Washington is a community property state, the court presumes all property and all debt amassed during a marriage belong to both spouses.

However, if debts were kept secret, and incurred entirely or partly by one party and not for the benefit of the marital community, the court may consider it separate debt. Emphasis on the word may. This is often difficult to prove in a definitive manner.

In this case, they may make what they believe to be a “just and equitable” division or assign it entirely to the party responsible.

It’s important to remember the court ultimately decides how to divide things. It has the authority to determine whether or not an obligation is separate or community property. Regardless of whose name it’s in, they can still award the debt to either party.

Related Reading: Jurisdiction: Where You File For Divorce Matters

Can You Protect Yourself?

The most common way to protect yourself in these situations is to refinance loans.

Divorce agreements often include terms that the owner of a certain debt must accomplish this task by a certain date. This offers one way to shield yourself from future financial misdeeds.

Still, you often have to make sure it actually happens. Even if refinancing was supposed to take place, if it doesn’t, it can still come back to bite you.

Debts that build up after a separation, but before signing the final papers, fall into a bit of a gray area.

In these cases, the court tries to determine if they’re for necessities or not. A judge might divide common expenses, like an electric bill or utility payment for the family home. But if your soon-to-be-ex puts a trip to Hawaii on the joint credit card, they might view that in a different light.

Related Reading: Rebuild Finances And Protect Your Credit Score After Divorce

Debt Moving Forward

Once you finalize your divorce, your finances become two distinct things. You have separate bank accounts, credit cards, bills, loans, and the whole works.

As with most legal matters, dividing debt in a divorce becomes incredibly complicated. It can go relatively smoothly in shorter marriages or cases without much in the way of shared property. But the more you have to deal with, the more problems usually arise.

It’s important to be aware of your assets in a divorce, and the same goes for debts. Make sure you keep tabs on how much you owe, and where, whether it’s in your name or your spouse’s.

Related Reading: Can You Protect Your Business During a Divorce?

From The Radio

Rick Jones, our founding partner, regularly appears on the radio. He answers listener questions about divorce and family law.

One recent caller touches on the topic of shared debt in divorce. Check out the conversation below:

Caller: “Prior to my separation from my husband, I found out recently that he co-signed for a $40,000 student loan and I had no idea about it. I didn’t even know my son was applying for a student loan. [M]y question is, am I going to be blind-sided in the courts, and is this going to become marital debt? I didn’t make this decision and didn’t have anything to do with it. So is it going to bite me in the butt later?”

Rick: “This one has two parts to it. To the extent, it was a kind of a debt engaged while community, even though the two of you weren’t a part of it–as long as it’s not considered a waste of community assets–then it’s likely to be looked at as a community obligation.

“One thing that I’m hearing is that he [cosigned a loan]. In other words, it’s a student loan with your child’s name on it and it’s the young adult’s responsibility. The debt or the obligation is only going to happen if that young adult defaults on [the loan].

“So right now, is it something that’s likely to appear on your credit report, and the answer [to your question] is yes? Is it something that you’re likely to be able to just get it taken off? No.

“The other thing though is that [your ex] is likely the first person they go to. So if it’s his signature on it, and the two of you are no longer married, it’s going to be easier or more convenient for whoever the lender is, to go after your husband.

“They’d have to dig deeper. They would have to say, ‘Oh gosh, he’s single now, I wonder if he was married two years ago? And if so, who is his ex-wife, and can we reach out to her too?’ So, you’re down the line in terms of who might be hurt by this.”

Related Reading: 8 Signs They Might Be Hiding Assets in Divorce

The post How To Split Debt In Divorce appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

Divorce has a massive impact on your future, influencing everything from finances to your living situation to how much you see your kids. Not only that, ending a marriage is a highly emotional time and we don’t always think rationally.

Strategies To Prepare For A Divorce

Odds are, divorce isn’t a surprise. You’ve likely sensed it was coming or considered it for some time. Because of this, you have plenty of time to prepare and figure out what divorce strategies to use.

Maybe this means talking to an attorney ahead of time, getting your finances in order, or figuring out exactly what you need and want from a settlement. There’s a great deal you can do to make sure you’re ready.

Following that train of thought, here are some things to do before filing for divorce. This list is far from exhaustive, and every case is different, but this checklist is a solid starting point.

Related Reading: How Long Does Divorce Take?

Know The Laws In Your State

Laws governing the dissolution of marriage vary from state to state, often in substantial ways. Before pursuing divorce, hit pause and make sure to educate yourself on the specific laws of your state.

• Do you know how assets are divided in Washington?
• Do you know what are considered assets in a divorce?
• Did you know that things like airline miles, appliances, and even professional licenses can be considered assets?
• Do you have debt?
• Do you have pets?
• How do you approach child custody?
• What factors are taken into account when it comes to figuring out child support?
• Will spousal support payments be necessary following your divorce?
• Will you need temporary orders?
• Do you have an inheritance?
• Do you have life insurance or retirement benefits such as social security or a pension?
• Are you in the military?

These are just some of the things that often impact the look of the final divorce settlement.

Related Reading: The Importance Of Jurisdiction in Divorce

Know when to fight and when not to

Is fighting over your extensive bobblehead collection more important than working out a favorable custody arrangement? Probably not, but people can and often do squabble over just about anything in divorce.

Take a moment to honestly assess what’s most important to you and focus your energy on that.

Don’t be a doormat, but know where you’re willing to compromise if necessary. Save the fight for what matters most. No one wants to spend $1000 in fees bickering over things of little consequence.

Related Reading: What is Divorce Mediation?

Save Money

This probably won’t come as a shock, but divorce can be expensive. Even in simple, uncontested divorces, it costs money to submit the paperwork. From there the expenses only pile up.

And the more complex the case, the more expensive it gets.

Every time you appear in court or at mediation, file or respond to a motion, or pretty much do anything, there’s a cost. Add to that temporary orders, like child support, spousal maintenance, and even setting up a new household.

Before a divorce, set aside money to offset these and other unexpected costs that pop up. It’s better than getting blindsided.

Related Reading: Dividing Debt in Washington State

Be Organized

With all the moving parts, divorce comes with a great deal of detail. You have court appearances, meetings with attorneys, mediation, and other places to be. You’ll likely have to take some time off work.

You have to submit various pieces of paperwork to the opposition and collect others for your case. In addition to that, there are forms on top of forms to fill out, and you need ready access to all the pertinent information.

To be blunt, dissolving a marriage is a mess of details. Before the divorce, take the time to organize everything. Sure, it’s a pain in the moment, but in the long run, the organization saves you time and hassle.

Related Reading: How to File for Divorce in Washington

Get Your Financial Records Together

A big part of being organized is collecting all of your financial records. The division of property is where you split up all shared assets and debts. You need to disclose everything.

• Collect all the related documents, including all accounts, 401(k)s, pensions, insurance policies, and tax records.
• Assemble any debts, including car payments, mortgages, student loans, credit card bills, and anywhere else you owe.
• List significant assets, homes, boats, real estate, jewelry, and even furniture.
• It may even help to break down your work, time, and financial contributions to the marriage.

This has a huge impact on the next phase of your financial life, so before divorce, get your books in order.

Related Reading: Are Divorce Records Public?

Take Stock Of Assets/Debts

Know as much as you can about the state of your collective finances.

• How much do you make?
• How much does your spouse earn?
• Do you have anything that might be considered seperate property or debt?

Figure out where you owe money and which assets are most valuable. Examine old tax returns, find out about retirement funds, and learn everything there is to know. Financial strategies play a large part in your divorce.

Related Reading: High-Asset Divorce

Protect Your Credit

Divorcing doesn’t automatically alter the financial agreements you and your spouse entered into while married.

Home loans, car loans, anything with both of your names on it stays that way unless you make the change.

Divorce agreements often stipulate your ex must make certain payments or refinance loans to remove your name. If that happens, great. But if not, it can negatively impact you and your credit.

It never hurts to keep an eye on things to make sure nothing fishy is going on.

Related Reading: Rebuild Your Credit After Divorce

Divorce Strategies For The Kids

Divorce can be complicated enough as it is, but when there are kids, it gets even more complex.

Emotions become heated and tempers flare. You’ll want to familiarize yourself with topics like how your state decides child custody and visitation, and how it calculates child support.

If you and your spouse live in separate places, you may need a temporary custody plan. The court may even order temporary child support.

Not only must their daily, regular needs be met—someone has to get them to school—it’s also vital to keep tabs on their emotional well-being during this time. Do you have a plan to look after their mental health?

Related Reading: Learn More About Child Custody in Washington

Hire A Divorce Attorney

Those who want to take a do-it-yourself approach to end their marriage have more resources now than ever before. But even the simplest, most straightforward cases can become twisted and tangled in short order.

Hiring an experienced divorce attorney to help guide you through the process can be invaluable. This is a crazy, hectic time, and a calm, cool head can suggest divorce strategies, keep raging emotions in check, and steer you towards an optimal outcome.

Related Reading: When to Hire a Divorce Lawyer

Enlist Support

Ending a marriage is a huge change and maybe the most chaotic, stressful time of your life. If you’re going to make it through intact, you need a support system in place.

It’s easy to fall into bad habits, like drinking too much and eating junk food because it’s simple and quick. Knowing who you can rely on to help keep you stable is important.

• Who do you turn to for advice, both legal and personal?
• For financial help?
• Or who watches the kids while you meet with an attorney or appear in court?

Also remember, while your attorney is on your side, they’re not your therapist. Have people to talk to when things get tough. This may be family or friends, or even professionals and support groups. It’s often enough to know you’re not in this completely alone.

Related Reading: Should You File for Divorce First?

Strategies For After Your Divorce Is Final

Down in the trenches, fighting the daily fight, it’s easy to lose sight of what comes next. Maybe you just want to get through this and put it behind you. Having strategies in place to move forward helps do just that.

Think about life on the other side. What are you going to do that you couldn’t do before? How’s your life going to improve? A little optimism goes a long way.

You also have practical concerns to consider. Finances change. You may have to pay child or spousal support, your tax status goes from married to single, and you may have to pay all the bills from a single paycheck for the first time.

If you have kids, the custody arrangement and visitation impact your schedule and likely your living situation. Before the divorce, take steps to plan for a new budget, new schedule, new home, and other changes.

Going in with a divorce strategy helps smooth out the process. These are just a few things you can do before divorce to ease financial worries, support your case, and make sure you look after your best interests. This list is by no means comprehensive, but these ideas are a good place to start.

Related Reading: What Is The Average Cost of Divorce in Washington?

The post Divorce Strategies To Know Before Filing appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

There are many reasons why people take this route, as well as scenarios when it’s a great fit. But it is also often a tricky proposition and there’s a lot to consider before making this decision.

What Does ‘Pro Se Divorce’ mean?

Let’s start with the basics, the legal term for when you represent yourself is Pro se. That’s the same in any court case, including divorce. Pro se is a Latin term that means “for oneself.”

In a legal sense, this is when a person represents him or herself in court instead of hiring an attorney. The right to represent oneself has existed since before the Constitution. A litigant can take this path in any type of case, but it’s become especially common in divorce.

It’s easier than ever to represent yourself in divorce, thanks to online resources and do-it-yourself guides. You can download the forms, fill them out with your soon-to-be-former spouse, pay any relevant fees, file the paperwork in the proper places, and be done.

We understand why people want to try and go it alone. Legal representation is not cheap. Though it is more accessible than ever, pro se divorce comes with its own set of positives and negatives.

Related Reading: Average Cost of Divorce in Washington

The Positive Side of Pro Se Divorce

The biggest advantage to a pro se divorce is obviously the cost.

If you utilize a kit or an online guide, the cost drops from a potentially astronomical sum to possibly nothing more than the few hundred dollars it costs to file the paperwork. That’s a tempting proposition. It’s also a big reason why this strategy has grown in popularity.

Unless you have prior legal experience, this works best in straightforward cases. That’s the ideal scenario to serve as your own counsel.

If you and your spouse can behave yourselves, work together to dissolve your marriage, and generally act amicably, you can move forward with minimal friction.

A pro se approach fits well in the case of uncontested divorces. If your marriage was short, you don’t have kids, and there’s little or no shared property to divide, this may be the way to go.

Even in more complicated scenarios, representing yourself may still work. If both sides can collaborate and be civil, it’s possible to handle the division of property and even custody arrangements.

Related Reading: What is Divorce Mediation? Choosing A Mediation Style

The Negative Side Of Pro Se Divorce

While saving money handling your divorce yourself is great, there’s potential for the situation to head south in short order.

If both spouses are willing and able to work together towards dissolving your marriage, pro se offers a viable option. If not, that’s when things often take a turn.

One key reason to not represent yourself is objectivity, which is particularly a problem in divorce law. Divorce is emotional and messy by nature and someone too close to the situation is liable to make emotional decisions and irrational choices.

It’s possible dealing with each other face to face instead of through intermediaries may even ease some of the tension. But problems may arise if you and your spouse can’t act civil towards one another.

It often doesn’t take much for a divorce to become complicated and intense. When it comes to the division of property, deciding on child custody and visitation, assigning support, and more, things can get tangled in no time at all, even in uncontested splits. If you can’t see each other without fighting, expect problems to pop up.

Every step of the process also comes with potential pitfalls and problems. It’s easy to fall face-first into a hole if you don’t know what to look for. This even includes simple things like improper filings or filling out forms incorrectly.

Some lawyers don’t like going up against pro se litigants for fear of having a settlement thrown out by a judge for being too skewed in favor of their client.

Related Reading: How to File for Divorce in Washington

Other Options

Depending on your circumstances, going to court and acting as a pro se litigant may be your best option. However, there are other avenues to explore and alternatives to going to court that may fit your case.

Mediation:

One alternative to going to court is mediation. In this process, both sides voluntarily sit down with a neutral third party to work out a resolution. Confidential and non-binding, instead of rendering a judgment in favor of one party or the other, the mediator works with both parties to reach an agreement.

In this capacity, an outsider with experience can point out areas where there may be issues, suggest potential solutions to problems, and offer advice. The goal is to work out a mutually beneficial deal for everyone.

Arbitration:

Arbitration falls somewhere between mediation and a full trial on the spectrum. Like mediation, a neutral third party oversees this process.

Unlike mediation, however, this agent issues a decision on the case in question. There are two kinds of arbitration, binding and non-binding.

The two parties must agree on one approach or the other beforehand. Binding arbitration is precisely what it sounds like. When the arbitrator hands down a ruling, it’s final and official.

In non-binding arbitration, if one party is dissatisfied with the result, he or she can appeal by requesting a trial known as a trial de novo. In these cases, if the appeal fails, the requesting party may have to pay the court costs of the other.

Going the pro se route may sound like a great idea for your divorce, and it may work well in many circumstances. It can be an effective, bare-bones way to represent yourself. While there is an upside, you should be aware of the potential hazards before making a decision.

Related Reading: Is Arbitration The Best Choice For You?

The post Pro Se: Can You Represent Yourself In Divorce? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

But once it’s done, it’s done, right?

Not always, unfortunately. Not everyone abides by the divorce decree. What can you do if your ex won’t follow the divorce agreement in Washington?

What If Your Ex Violates Your Divorce Agreement or Parenting Plan?

The good news is that you have legal recourse. It’s not always easy, and it usually takes some time and resources, but there are options out there.

Once handed down by the proper authorities, your divorce agreement is an official court order. That means the terms are legally enforceable.

By choosing not to abide by the agreement, your ex risks possible legal problems, including contempt charges.

A simple misunderstanding is one thing. It’s possible that either you or your ex read the court order and misinterpreted the language or the specifics about weekend visitation or pick-up or drop-off times.

The same goes for a spousal support payment that is a few days late once or twice. Things happen, and in the grand scheme of things, these are relatively minor incidents. If your relationship is amicable, it’s probably even possible to correct these problems.

It’s when these slights are willful and form a pattern that serious issues arise. When your ex simply refuses to abide by the divorce agreement, that’s something much more serious.

File An Order to Show Cause

If your ex steadfastly refuses to follow the divorce agreement, and if you can’t work it out any other way, your situation may require legal action.

In Washington, one option is to file an order to show cause. This is when one party requests that the court demand an explanation from the other, to “show cause” for their behavior.

Let’s say that a parent “forgets” to drop the kids off as arranged. Or conflicts come up every time there’s parenting time scheduled. In this situation, at a show cause hearing, each parent has the opportunity to state their case.

The non-custodial parent can ask the court to order the other to abide by the parenting plan, change the visitation schedule, or even transfer custody.

On the other hand, the custodial parent must explain why they disobeyed the court-ordered divorce agreement.

Related Reading: Tips to Remaining Civil During Custody Exchanges

What Is Contempt In Family Law?

Contempt as a concept is relatively simple: it’s the willful and intentional disobedience of a court order. When it comes to child custody and family law issues, this manifests in a variety of ways:

• Your ex denies you visitation as laid out in a parenting plan.
• Your ex won’t return your child at the end of a visit.
• Your ex doesn’t make reasonable attempts to require the child to make scheduled visits.
• One party or the other is ordered to make regular child support or spousal support payments and fails to do so.
• Not handing over property awarded in the settlement.
• Violating any of the other terms laid down in the court order.

What Is A Motion For Contempt?

A motion for contempt is essentially an official means of requesting the court to compel the violator to abide by the court order.

In child custody and family law cases, this most commonly takes the form of suing to enforce visitation, child or spousal support payments, and other specific terms.

When Do You File A Motion For Contempt?

Filing a motion for contempt is harsh and shouldn’t be undertaken lightly. It can be useful in the right situations, but it’s not always the most appropriate tool in the toolbox.

Don’t pull this out for every minor conflict or disagreement. A motion for contempt is best suited for more severe, extreme circumstances. 

Depending on the severity of the infractions, if the court finds contempt, it carries substantial repercussions.

A judge can:

• Order counseling.
• Allot makeup time you missed with your kids.
• Require parenting classes.
• Change a parenting plan or alter a custody schedule.
• Award attorney’s fees.
• Enforce civil penalties.
• Hand down jail time if the case warrants, though usually only as a last resort.

Because of potentially lasting consequences, it’s important not to abuse a motion for contempt. Sometimes, however, pursuing contempt of court charges regarding child custody orders is the best bet.

The essential goal of a motion for contempt is to get the other party to follow the court order in the future.

Related Reading: Contempt Of Court Violations

Another Option: Modification Of A Divorce Agreement

Instead of following the show cause or contempt path, another option is to modify the existing divorce agreement. Modification usually takes time and effort, but it might provide long-term benefits if successful.

Back to the example where the custodial parent interferes with or denies your visitation. In this instance, if this is a larger, prolonged pattern, the original order doesn’t work.

You can petition the court to award you custody. As the courts don’t like to alter divorce settlements already in place, this usually becomes a long process. It can involve discovery, hearings, and even a trial depending on the case. If you opt to go this route, be ready for the long haul.

Related Reading: Child Support Modification: Changing a Support Order 

Protecting Child Custody Before You Need A Motion For Contempt

It’s easy to think that the child custody battle is over and done with when the court hands down a decision. In reality, and in far too many cases, ensuring your parental rights may be an ongoing battle.

Parents often fight tooth and nail to establish child custody, visitation, child support payments, and the rest, only to slack when it comes to enforcing them. Using a motion for contempt is a tool to accomplish this, but again, a rather severe one.

There are steps to take before it gets to that point that can hopefully help avoid such situations.

Establish the Rules

It’s tempting to set up a cooperative arrangement with your ex, one where both parents collaborate and work together to continue raising a child. In ideal situations, that’s great. It’s good for the kids and for you, and if you can pull it off, that’s fantastic.

Problems arise, however, when there are conflicts, things change and there’s no backup plan. If both parents can work together, good, but there will likely be at least some moments of friction. In the end, it will be to your advantage to have a concrete plan in place.

Follow the Rules

Once you lay out the guidelines, it’s important to stick to them. You can’t expect your ex to abide by rules if you are unwilling to toe the line. Not only is this courteous and fair, but it can also influence legal proceedings down the road.

It reflects poorly on you to file a motion for contempt that claims your ex violates the visitation arrangement if you regularly do the same.

On the other hand, it looks much better to stay as close as possible to the rules you set up. This may prove frustrating, especially if your ex flaunts violations, but it will only benefit your case down the road.

Enforce the Rules

Once you lay out the rules, it’s also important to enforce them. Filing a motion for contempt is one way to do this.

As stated earlier, it’s a serious move, one to maybe keep in your back pocket for extreme circumstances. There are less drastic ways to accomplish these goals.

Don’t let your ex flaunt the rules. People often push boundaries to see what they can and can’t get away with. If your former spouse consistently bends the rules and you never deal with it, this behavior is more likely to continue in the future.

Document Everything

If a pattern is established, document any violations of the court-ordered parenting plan or divorce agreement.

If you do get to the point where you do need to file a motion for contempt or take other legal action, being able to prove your claims will be important. It may help to have witnesses at scheduled pick-ups or drop-offs where your ex doesn’t show up.

If you go back and forth about spousal or child support payments via email, text, voice mail, or even a social media post, hang onto those. The more definitive the evidence, the stronger your case.

Don’t Just Take The Kids

Though tempting at times, don’t just show up and take kids when it’s not your scheduled time, even if you feel owed. That may very well be construed as kidnapping, which has significant legal ramifications.

And even if that doesn’t happen, you give your ex ammunition to use against you in court. It may get you momentary time with the kids, but it’s a move that can backfire in so many serious, permanent ways.

Don’t Stop Paying Spousal Or Child Support

If your ex denies visitation, stopping child support or spousal maintenance payments makes sense to some people. After all, if your ex withholds something, you withhold something else in return, right?

Though it may tempt you, don’t stop making these payments.

You can’t just stop paying child support if your ex denies your visitation. You also can’t stop spousal support payments if your ex refuses to hand over property or assets awarded to you in a settlement agreement.

Instead of helping your cause, this damages your position and even opens you up to potential legal action.

It’s often the case that an ex denies your visitation in some sort of power play. It can be an attempt to be in control or even designed to hurt you.

In some cases, if you can’t work it out on your own, having an attorney send a strongly worded letter may be enough. Sometimes just that threat is enough to move the needle.

Be clear that you’re willing to talk things out. But also be firm and make it known that if you’re continually denied court-ordered visitation or something else, you may take legal action.

If you do file a motion for contempt, small quibbles may just annoy a judge and not help you at all. In the case of enforcement proceedings, stick to the major issues and violations.

Related Reading: Are Divorce Records Public?

From The Radio

Rick Jones, one of our founding partners, makes regular guest appearances on the Danny Bonaduce and Sarah Morning Show. On the air, he answers family law questions from listeners. On a recent show, a listener texted this exact question.

Listen to the Conversation Below:

Texted-In Question: “According to our parenting plan, I’m supposed to have my daughter every other weekend, but my wife hasn’t let me see her at all. How do I force my wife to let me see my daughter?”

Rick’s Answer:

Rick: “A Motion for Contempt. The parenting plan is a court order. So now it’s no longer just the agreement between the two of you. Now it’s a court document, an official document, signed by a judge.

“So what you do, is you do a ‘motion for contempt. Where you basically say, ‘Look, the parenting plan says I get the kids or the child, and she’s not giving them to me.’

“What your recourse is is a couple of things:

• Number One: Makeup time, which is a slam dunk.
• Number Two: The courts are supposed to order attorney fees, so she’s likely to be on the hook for your attorney fees. If it is as simple as he’s telling us.
• Number Three: Going forward, if there’s a contempt finding or a history of contempt findings, that may alone be the basis to modify the parenting plan. Ultimately, that may be your ticket to switch custody if it continues like this.”

Danny: “And I’ll tell you this, there are certain things in the law that sound nice. ‘Parenting Plan’ sounds nice. ‘Contempt’ is not one of those things. When your ex hears the words ‘motion for contempt,’ she’ll cave right away. I would. Whoa, whoa, that’s such a scary word.”

Related Reading: Managing Your Holiday Custody Schedule

The post What to Do When Your Ex Won’t Follow Court Orders appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

How Does the Jurisdiction You Choose Affect Divorce And Child Custody?

If you and your spouse have established residency in a single state, you only really have one option about where to file for divorce.

But if you’ve recently moved, if the two of you live in different states, or even if you own homes elsewhere, all of that influences which state has jurisdiction over your case. Or at least it can.

Different states often have very, very different rules for divorce and custody. In some states, laws even vary by county.

For example, when it comes to the division of property, Oregon follows the equitable distribution model. Washington, on the other hand, is a community property state. This means the two states view, and thus divide, assets in specific ways.

And that’s just one area where jurisdiction comes into play.

States often have differences regarding custody, the child support formula, spousal support, and more. It may not always have a drastic influence, but you may find one state’s laws favor your case where another’s don’t.

However it works out, it’s an important topic to consider.

Related Reading: How Does Washington Divide Debt In Divorce?

Where You File For Divorce

People often think you have to file for divorce in the state where you married. That’s not true.

You do, however, need to be a legal resident of the state where you file.

Some states require a waiting period after you become a resident before you can file. This keeps people from moving to a new state with favorable laws and divorcing right away, thus gaming the system.

Washington doesn’t work this way, but it does have certain stipulations.

You must be a Washington resident, a member of the armed forces stationed here, or married to a Washington resident or member of the military stationed here. If you check one of those boxes, you can file for divorce here.

When spouses live in different states, this also impacts jurisdiction.

For example, if your spouse lives in California, she can file there. If you both agree, you can file wherever you please.

In most cases, the state where the papers are ultimately filed maintains jurisdiction. This presents something to think about when considering filing. Timing may also be a factor.

Related Reading: Preparing for a Consultation With a Divorce Lawyer

Jurisdiction And Divorce

So how exactly does jurisdiction impact divorce? It can play into how financial matters shake out. Often, it influences how much time you spend with your children. In reality, it can and often does sway almost every aspect of the process.

• Division of Property: As said earlier, Washington follows community property practices when splitting up assets during a divorce. This is different from Oregon, which uses the equitable distribution model. Community property views all assets acquired during a marriage as equally belonging to both spouses. This has a significant influence on how courts allocate assets and debts. It’s essential to know how things vary from one jurisdiction to the next.
• Child Custody: Many factors influence custody decisions, and states weigh them all differently. The language often varies from state to state. Some states even allow non-blood relatives to vie for custody in certain cases. Deciding jurisdiction in custody cases is a complex issue, but more on that later.
• Child Support: Child support payments cover a child’s basic necessities. Things like food, shelter, medical care, and education. States generally follow a rigid formula to determine this number. It weighs various factors. You plug certain numbers into an equation and it produces an amount. But like other areas, variations to the formula occur as you cross state borders, which can cause major changes.
• Spousal Support: Spousal support doesn’t follow a strict formula like child support, but the goal remains similar. It aims to provide financial support for dependent spouses after divorce. In some cases, it only lasts a short time. In others, it continues indefinitely. As you probably guessed, how states approach this differs a great deal. Oregon, for example, has three specific types of spousal support. Washington, on the other hand, doesn’t, though payments tend to follow a pattern depending on things like the length of the marriage, earning potential, and financial need.

Related Reading: How Your Education Level Can Impact Rate of Divorce

How Children Impact Jurisdiction

Children tend to complicate matters in a divorce. Their presence impacts things emotionally, financially, and they can even play a part when it comes to determining jurisdiction.

We mentioned above how jurisdiction affects custody, but children can also influence where a case takes place.

Spouses can agree to which state has jurisdiction. But when a divorce involves a custody component, that decision isn’t always entirely up to the parents.

Things can get very complicated, which is where the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act comes in.

Created in the 1960s, and adopted by every state by the early 1980s, the UCCJEA sets out statutes that determine jurisdiction in custody child cases. A complex set of rules and regulations, it establishes the “home state” in these situations.

Under the UCCJEA, courts take many factors into account. Where the child has lived for the previous six months is a big component. If a child has significant connections in a state, that also plays a role. In grave circumstances, states can even declare emergency jurisdiction.

The goal is to serve the best interests of the child or children in question. This is already a traumatic time, and the laws aim to best help the children’s well-being. So, though you may want to file for divorce in one state, in certain situations another may hold jurisdiction.

These are only a few of the ways where you file for divorce matters. Jurisdiction can have a major influence in many areas when ending a marriage. Laws often vary in ways you don’t expect. As such, it’s vital to know the specific rules and regulations where your case will be heard.

If you have questions about your divorce, contact Goldberg Jones at our Seattle office. Our experienced attorneys are well-versed in Washington divorce and custody law.

Related Reading: What to Expect From Child Custody Hearings

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