What Is Common-Law Marriage?

Common-law marriage is a term many people have a vague familiarity with. We generally understand it to mean that living with a partner for a certain number of years without actually tying the knot creates a kind of de facto marriage. It’s essentially marriage by default.

While that’s what it means in a broad sense, how it works from state to state varies. And it’s usually much more complex than two people simply living together for a long time.

With some variance, to have a common-law marriage, you must both be able to marry, live together, have intent, and essentially live life as a married couple. You share joint bank accounts and assets, refer to each other as “husband” and “wife,” and things like that.

Related Reading: Legal Marijuana And How It Affects Child Custody

Does Washington Have Common-Law Marriage?

As we said, there are a lot of misconceptions about common-law marriage. Fortunately for Washington residents, state law makes it easy to grasp.

Though the state recognizes common-law marriages from other states—in reality, only a few still embrace the custom—Washington itself does not allow the practice.

However, just because Washington doesn’t have common-law marriage doesn’t mean you have no rights in cases of long-term relationships. We see this situation come up more and more frequently.

Couples cohabitate before marriage at a higher rate than ever before. Many commingle finances and every other facet of their lives, much like a marriage. It’s not even uncommon for couples to have and raise children without ever marrying.

Related Reading: Can I Annul My Marriage in Washington?

What Are Committed Intimate Relationships?

Though Washington doesn’t allow common-law marriage, it does use the idea of Committed Intimate Relationships to impart legal rights for long-term relationships. Like common-law marriage, this pertains to relationships where couples live together in a way that approximates a marital union.

These were formerly known as “meretricious relationships,” though the legal terminology has changed.

There are no set criteria for commited intimate relationships. However, like common-law marriage, similar factors go into determining what does or doesn’t qualify.

When a couple lives together for years, pools resources, financial or otherwise, and generally enjoys the benefits of a marital relationship—companionship, support, and the rest—this often constitutes a committed intimate relationship. After examining the situation, the court can ultimately rule on whether or not a relationship fits its criteria.

This designation helps courts deal with legal and financial issues when one ends and distinguishes them from run-of-the-mill, temporary romantic relationships. In fact, in these situations, the process often mimics what you see in divorce proceedings.

Related Reading: How the Division of Property Works in Washington

Division of Property

Because Washington doesn’t allow common-law marriage, the division of property often gets tricky for longer romances.

In these cases, the courts only divide assets and debts in instances of committed intimate relationships. This is something you have to determine first, but once legally established, the courts split property similarly to how it would in a divorce, though with some differences.

Washington is a community property state, which means it views all property acquired during a marriage as belonging equally to both parties. As we’re not talking about marriage, the situation is somewhat different. However, courts do use similar reasoning for dividing the property.

Courts employ a fair and equitable standard when making this decision. They consider things like the length of the relationship, the financial standing of each party, and more. Like with marriage, this also only applies to property acquired during the relationship.

If you owned something before, it stays yours. The same goes for anything acquired as a gift or as an inheritance. That remains with whoever received it. More on that in a moment.

Related Reading: How Does Washington Handle Debt In Divorce?

Child Custody

Parental rights and obligations don’t hinge on a marriage. Your status as a parent matters, not the status of your relationship. Biological and adoptive parents have the same parental rights, regardless of whether the couple is married.

After the end of a committed intimate relationship, you can pursue custody and visitation. If you have the majority of the time in the parenting plan, you also have the right to child support. And you have the right to be part of your child’s life unless circumstances dictate otherwise.

All of the things that usually factor into a child custody battle in cases of divorce still pertain to unmarried couples.

Related Reading: What To Expect From A Child Custody Hearing

Inheritance

Unmarried partners don’t inherit property when one party dies the same way married couples do. It isn’t automatic.

If you have a will, that’s one thing. However, even without a will, you have options. If your partner passes away and you can show you were in a committed intimate relationship, you may be due inheritance and other benefits.

Still, even then, without a will or marriage, your rights remain limited in certain regards.

For instance, you aren’t eligible to collect Social Security based on your partner’s work record. Without a will or other documentation, you may not have the legal right to participate in your partner’s health care decisions, have input in the burial, and be a part of related situations. In most cases, this falls to family members, who can exclude you if they choose.

You can have attorneys draft legal documents ensuring these things, but without them, you don’t automatically become entitled.

The short answer to the question of does Washington have common-law marriage is, no, no it doesn’t. But that doesn’t mean you’re out of luck when it comes to the end of a long-term relationship.

This does create additional pitfalls and hazards, but there are ways to contend with most of them. Like so many situations, it’s best to prepare ahead of time to protect yourself.

Related Reading: Can My Ex Keep My Child From Playing Sports?

The post Does Washington State Have Common-Law Marriage? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

Life insurance policies can be one of the more delicate knots to untie and oftentimes go overlooked in the divorce process.

Dealing with life insurance during a divorce can be emotional, especially when you have kids. These policies form a safety net for families. It’s important to hit all the key aspects and make the most logical decisions for all parties involved.

You Need to Cover:

• Beneficiary changes.
• Accounting for the cash value in whole or universal life policies.
• Protecting child support and alimony income.

Beneficiary Changes

The dissolution of marriage doesn’t automatically remove you or your ex from a policy. This is one reason people so often overlook life insurance in divorce.

If your ex took out a life insurance policy that insures you and pays out a benefit in the event of your death, they keep that policy even after your divorce. Only the policyholder can cancel or change that contract.

The exception to this is if you receive the insurance policy and benefits as part of the divorce agreement.

The good news is that most life insurance policies are revocable. This means the policy owner may change the beneficiary at any time.

There are some instances where you can’t change the beneficiary. That’s called an irrevocable beneficiary. In these cases, no one can alter the document once that person has been named.

If you’re the policyholder, simply calling your insurance agent is the easiest way to change your policy. Have them verify the policy and then re-designate your beneficiary.

Related Reading: When is the Best Time to Divorce?

Accounting for the Cash Value

As you plan to become financially independent from your spouse, you look to divide assets and debts, evaluate bonds, stocks, and mutual funds, and consider retirement.

While you do this, keep in mind, courts don’t technically consider life insurance a financial asset. They only assess the cash value.

This number represents part of your net worth. Listing the life insurance policy, including its cash value, among the marital assets to be divided is the most equitable thing to do. This is mostly because, in a common divorce where assets are divided evenly, you leave the marriage with half the cash value from the policy.

If you have term life insurance, you don’t have to worry about splitting up the policy as an asset. Term policies do not come with any supplemental components and have no cash value.

Permanent policies, however, are sometimes seen as an investment due to their tax-deferred savings. Talking to your life insurance provider should help you identify which type of policy you have and clarify the differences between each.

Related Reading: The Cost of Divorce in Washington

Protecting Child Support and Alimony Income

For the spouse awarded primary custody of the children after a divorce, protecting child support and alimony income becomes especially important. The money from child support and alimony is essential to maintaining the well-being of your kids.

One way to protect yourself from the absence of such supplemental income is by maintaining a life insurance policy on your ex-spouse. At least until your child leaves for college.

With a benefit amount high enough to replace your child support or alimony income, this serves as a financial safety net.

This isn’t a particularly common strategy, but occasionally the court does order a parent to submit to this plan. Usually, however, that’s not the case.

If you’re in a situation where the other parent is unable or unwilling to make continued payments toward the life insurance, you have options. One option is to own the policy and pay the premium yourself, as life insurance becomes null and void if the payments lapse.

Related Reading: How Is Debt Divided During A Divorce?

Court-Ordered Life Insurance

In the instance that the court requires you to pay life insurance, there are three things to consider:

• The application for life insurance policies often takes at least 4-6 weeks to complete. It takes even longer if you are rejected and required to submit additional information. This means that the sooner you start the process, the better.
• Communication is key to making this as smooth as possible from the very beginning. Talk with your lawyer and your former spouse about who owns the policy, how long the term should be, how much coverage you need, and who pays the premiums.
• The court often asks for proof of a purchased life insurance policy. In this case, you should be able to get a copy of your signed application from the broker.

As with many things during a divorce, dealing with life insurance often gets complicated. It can be a valuable tool for providing for your children, but it’s also not all that common. Negotiating it as part of a settlement also adds costs and complications to your case.

Still, it’s an option to consider. If you have questions about how it impacts your case, it’s usually best to consult a divorce attorney. That should give you a solid idea of how best to proceed.

Related Reading: Can You File For Bankruptcy During a Divorce?

The post Life Insurance And Divorce: What To Know appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

Even in the best situations, divorce gets twisted and complicated. It’s often a long process, one that often drags on and on. When spouses are willing to work together it streamlines the process and speeds things up.

On the other hand, when they’re not willing to play ball, when they drag their feet at every turn, that’s a different story. If your ex refuses to participate in negotiations and engage, what can you do?

Rick Jones, our founding partner, regularly appears on the KZOK 102.5 morning show, where he answers family law questions from listeners. One caller finds himself in just this situation. His ex refuses to answer his calls for mediation and he wants to know what options he has.

Related Reading: Is Washington a No-Fault Divorce State?

Listen to the Conversation Below:

Caller: “My ex filed for divorce in January. I have requested mediation I don’t know how many times, and she won’t answer, won’t step up to the table, won’t do anything. And this is still dragging on. Is there any way to get her to finalize this, or go to mediation, or just speed things up?”

Rick: “Which county is this filed in?“

Caller: “Snohomish.”

Rick: “Okay. Ultimately what the court is going to require is that there be some sort of settlement attempt even short of court. They’re really doing that for the purposes of judicial efficiency. Now, in Snohomish County, one of the things you’ll want to do…or wait, first, are you represented?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Rick: “Okay. What your attorney already has done, or will want to do immediately, is to request a trial date from Snohomish County. They don’t give you one on day-one like they do in King and Pierce [Counties]. So you’ll want to request a trial date. Once that date is in there, even if it’s four months from now, there’s a big red star on that date, and it creates a little bit of urgency.

“She’s not going to want to go to trial either. It’s going to cost her a lot of money or a lot of heartache getting all that way. So the reality is, get something on the calendar so there’s now a deadline that she needs to prepare for. I’m telling you, 95% chance they’ll be on to mediation.”

Related Reading: Divorce After a Short Marriage

The post What if My Ex Refuses to Cooperate in Divorce? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

Sometimes two people grow apart and evolve in different, incompatible directions. Any number of factors further complicate matters. For instance, adultery often destroys marriages, but how much it affects the divorce process varies.

Another such snag is when you want to end your marriage, but the other party has other ideas. What can you do if your spouse doesn’t want to divorce?  With a few exceptions, it doesn’t matter if your spouse disagrees.

Most states in the union, including Washington, practice no-fault divorce.

Related Reading: How To File For Divorce In Washington

What Is No-Fault Divorce?

In short, no-fault divorce is exactly what it sounds like. You don’t have to prove that either party is to blame for the marriage crumbling. If adultery broke your marriage, for instance, it doesn’t really matter. You don’t have to prove the other party is in the wrong in Washington.

All the court requires is that you declare the union broken beyond repair with no hope of reconciliation. Do that, actually be legally married, meet state residency requirements, and follow the proper procedure, and you can dissolve your marriage.

In a practical sense, no-fault divorce streamlines ending a marriage. Without having to prove one person is to blame, it speeds up the timeline.

There’s no need to dig up painful memories or sling mud back and forth. And even if your spouse doesn’t want to divorce, you can get out and move on with your life.

Related Reading: Average Costs of Divorce In Washington

Does it Affect Settlement Agreements?

Under no-fault divorce statutes, the court doesn’t take wrongdoing into account when dissolving a marriage. Wrongdoing can, however, come into play in a variety of areas in divorce cases.

Child custody, the division of property, spousal support, and others can all feel the influence. If wrongdoing has a direct impact on circumstances, fault could possibly factor in.

Related Reading: Are Divorce Records Public in Washington?

Can Adultery Affect No-Fault Divorce?

In spite of the fact that Washington is a no-fault state, there are instances where wrongdoing, including adultery, can affect divorce. Infidelity can kill relationships and there’s often no coming back from cheating. But sometimes it also factors into the divorce when it negatively impacts the surrounding situation

Division of Property

Though it’s rare, one area where adultery in Washington and cheating may impact divorce is in the division of property. As there’s no blame to assign, adultery doesn’t usually come into play.

One situation where it can, however, is if cheating directly contributed to financial issues.

For example, if adultery contributes to economic hardships. Say, in the course of an affair, your ex drains your savings or racks up extensive hotel bills. Then the court may consider this when it comes time to settle.

Can Adultery Affect Child Custody?

If an affair negatively influences a person’s parenting ability. Like your ex forgot to pick up your child from band practice because of extramarital engagements. Things of that nature sometimes influence child custody decisions.

Perhaps it illustrates a larger pattern of neglect. Did your ex routinely choose infidelity over parental duties? Did they shack up in a hotel room instead of going to your child’s birthday party?

If you show cheating directly led to bad parenting choices, the court often considers that in child custody decisions.

Can Adultery Increase Alimony Payments?

Spousal support is another area where adultery may factor into your divorce thanks to no-fault statutes in Washington. It’s also another area where it’s difficult to demonstrate the concrete impact. Again, if you can prove that infidelity directly triggered an undue financial burden, it may apply.

Again, if your spouse drained your savings or ran up substantial credit card debt in the course of an affair. The court is more likely to consider that when it awards spousal support.

They may also consider significant emotional distress caused by adultery. In this case, however, it must be severe, like negatively impacting the ability to find or hold a job.

Related Reading: How Is Spousal Support Calculated In Washington?

Arguments For No-Fault Divorce

Proponents of no-fault divorce often cite suicide rates and incidents of domestic violence to back their claims. Both dropped in states that picked up this practice.

Also, they state that outside interests, like the courts, shouldn’t be able to determine whether a person has legitimate reasons for wanting out of a marriage. The simple fact you want out should be enough, even if your spouse doesn’t want to divorce.

Related Reading: Legal Marijuana and Its Impact on Child Custody

Arguments Against No-Fault Divorce

Opponents argue that no-fault divorce decreases the inherent value of marriage, that by making it easier to end a marriage, it lessens the significance of the matrimonial bond.

Another point of contention claims that often the person actually at fault is the one who files for divorce. In these situations, an abuser or cheating spouse ends a marriage with no consequences.

The list of why marriages and relationships break down is practically endless. It’s as long as the list of why people wed in the first place. Abuse, infidelity, and financial problems are just a few common causes. But sometimes people grow apart or want different things.

No-fault divorce helps smooth over the process and means neither party has to blame the other. You can end your marriage even if your spouse doesn’t want to divorce.

Related Reading: Common Mediation Questions

Conversations From The Radio

My Ex Won’t Play Ball

One of our founding partners, Rick Jones, regularly appears on the Danny Bonaduce and Sarah Morning Show. On the air, he takes family law questions from listeners. People often call in wondering about no-fault divorce, adultery, and many of the issues already discussed.

CALLER: “My wife and I filed a petition for divorce back in December last year. We both agreed on the division of property. We signed together, we filed, and then once the 90 days were up, she refused to sign the paperwork to finalize the find of facts and dissolution papers.

“Since she already signed the initial papers and agreed to the divorce and now she’s changing her mind, what are my options?”

Rick: “A couple of things. The first thing I would say is that filing the initial papers doesn’t mean the agreement’s binding. That’s why Washington State has that 90-day waiting period. That’s why you couldn’t get it done in December when you filed. So, she has that right within the 90 days to back out.

“For her to back out though, out of that tentative agreement, there are some steps she needs to follow. For example, she would have needed to do what’s called a ‘response to the petition.’ That basically says to the court, he filed, and she needs to [respond]. If she hasn’t done that, you can do what’s called a ‘motion for default.’

“You basically say, look, more than 90 days have elapsed. She’s obviously been served with the documents, therefore I’m asking for this case to be closed on the terms of our original petition.

“The problem with that is that it’s kind of like a tennis match. Yes, you do that motion, but she’s going to respond and say, ‘No wait, I’m here.’ The courts are going to be very liberal about giving somebody their opportunity to have a day in court.

“Unfortunately, you thought you had an agreement in December. You’re really like most everybody else in that you’ve got a divorce filed, now you need to reach an agreement with her.”

Related Reading: Preparing for a Divorce Consultation

*

Can I Take His Dog?

CALLER: “I am really upset this morning. I caught my husband cheating last night. And I am ready to take him for everything he’s got. Including his dog. I will take his dog. I can’t believe he cheated on me. But my question is if I divorce him can I take it all? It’s all his fault. I haven’t cheated, I’ve been faithful. ”

Danny: “Well, I’ll tell you the bad news and then I’ll turn it over to a real live lawyer. I don’t mean this about me or the show, we love you and care about you, but legally speaking, I don’t think anybody cares, Janet. Let’s find out from an expert, Rick Jones.”

Rick: “What Danny is referring to is what’s called a ‘No-Fault’ state. Meaning the issue of fault doesn’t have anything to do with financial issues, dividing up assets, and liabilities.

“The reason they do that–not to be an additional thorn in your side, and I certainly feel bad for what you’re experiencing right now–but the reason they do that is that it would open up so many levels of litigation in what’s already just a packed court docket.

“So the reality from an attorney’s perspective is, you want to get an attorney that will treat it as a business transaction. In other words, get this done, move on. Those assets that otherwise you’re going for would end up getting frittered away with the amount of attorney fees you’d have to go after this litigation. So ultimately the pain you’re feeling will mitigate.”

Danny: “Can I tell you something, Janet? And I am adamant about this. You don’t have to do any of this right now. It’s like going shopping when you’re hungry. You’re mad, you’re going to call a lawyer before you do anything, and that’s a great idea, get yourself a lawyer.

“But you don’t have to divorce him today. Retain good counsel, but give yourself a minute to breathe. Because you’re real mad, and you don’t often go after peoples’ dogs, that’s all I’m saying, Janet. Calm down, take a breath and think about what you want to do with the rest of your life because this is an important decision.”

Related Reading: Pet Custody in Washington State

*

Brother Versus Brother

CALLER: “My job takes me away for days on end. [A] couple days, sometimes weeks. I came home recently to find out my brother has been sleeping with my wife. And I’d like a divorce.”

Danny: “I bet you would. I bet you want a divorce from your brother as well. I will tell you this, I don’t know the answer to this, but I do know how life works.”

Rick: “Well, first of all, I’m going to apologize for what you’re going through. Ultimately, it puts you in the same boat as everybody else that wants a divorce, which is that, simply put, you put one foot in front of the other.

“You start by getting the case filed. Then you address any temporary issues, for example, the living situation might be a bit uncomfortable.”

Danny: “Oh so you gotta get that, you’re right. I went through that. I didn’t even think about that, because it was a big house with a basement. He’s got to figure out a place for him or for her.”

Rick: “Or for her, exactly. So that’s what I mean in terms of putting one foot in front of the other. There’s nothing that stops you from getting a case filed right now.

“The other thing for you to know, and for everyone else to hear, that fact of what she and your brother is doing is morally reprehensible, doesn’t matter when it comes to issues that arise during a divorce.

“It’s still going to be diving up assets and liabilities. If you have children you have to address that. There may be some issues you want to raise though regarding parenting. But ultimately it’s one foot in front of the other.”

Danny: “Great advice by the way, and I happen to know this, from you of course, that Washington, is a ‘no-fault state.’ It doesn’t matter that she had sex with his brother, right?”

Rick: “Correct.”

Related Reading: How Is Debt Divided During A Divorce? In-Depth

*

What Are The First Steps To Divorce?

CALLER: “So I’ve been married for about two years and my wife recently admitted she cheated on me. I was curious about what the first steps to my divorce would be?”

Danny: “You’re going to hate this.”

Rick: “I think what you’re wanting to hear is, or what everybody should learn at least–and this isn’t necessarily your question–but Washington is what’s called a no-fault state.

“So the fact that she stepped outside of her marriage and obviously not lived up to her vows does not result in any necessary harm to her. It doesn’t mean you get a better deal.”

Danny: “I hate this so much. Yet I was the cheater, so I’m kinda glad. But Rick’s telling the truth man. You don’t get any more or less because someone is a cheater and a liar.”

Rick: “That’s right. Now the question is though, it obviously sounds like you’ve processed this and said, “I’m done.” So to answer your question on where you start, there are a couple of ways to go about it.

“Obviously a case needs to be filed, so you need to start the process. You don’t need to have a settlement prior to starting this, so start the clock ticking.

“A divorce in Washington takes 90 days. Even if you do come to an agreement right away, it takes 90 days at a minimum. It could take upwards of a year if there are contested issues that you can’t agree to right away.”

Rick: “So the first step is to get a case filed. What you really probably want to do though is pick up the phone and call my office, or frankly anybody else, and give them a little bit of background. ‘We’ve been married two years. We have kids or we don’t. Here’s what we’ve accumulated. Tell me what this is like, what’s it going to be like for me.’

That way you’re in a position to be more educated about the various decisions and options you’ve got coming up.”

Danny: “Joe, is there any chance you could work this out?”

Caller: “No, we’ve been falling apart for about a year now. So this is kind of a long time coming.”

Danny: “All right, you’ve heard from the expert himself. It doesn’t matter to the court who did what, just run right out and get a lawyer, and start protecting your assets.” 

Related Reading: How Much Does Divorce Cost In Washington State

The post Is Washington A No-Fault Divorce State? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

As with most questions surrounding this topic, the best time to divorce is relative. No two situations are ever the same, so there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. It truly all depends on the circumstances.

Is There A Good Time To Divorce?

January has become known as “Divorce Month,” a season when couples look into their options for ending a marriage. People often put off such an unpleasant task until after the holidays. Holiday stress can also trigger the decision. End-of-the-year financial reasons, like taxes or work bonuses, frequently play a role. And sometimes people just want a fresh start in the new year.

A study from the University of Washington supports this anecdotal evidence with numbers. Examining data from 2001 through 2015, researchers found that divorce filings rise sharply beginning in January, though the numbers don’t truly spike until March. During this time, people often explore their options, save money, talk to attorneys, and generally establish a plan of action.

Because it takes so long, many people look at this as the best time to divorce. If you file early in the year, timing-wise, you’re more likely to wrap things up during the summer. This is a consideration when there are kids. Once finalized, parents can establish a new routine along with a new school year. This can normalize things and help kids adjust. Courts are also hesitant to cause wholesale change for kids during a school year. They’re often more open to altering a custody situation during the summer.

But January isn’t the only divorce month. The January-to-March window sees a bump in divorce filings of 33%. However, the period from July to August also sees a similar leap, climbing by 30%. This is a time when kids are out of school, families go on vacation, and fragile marriages feel a great deal of pressure.

Related Reading: Should You Hire A Divorce Attorney?

Should you stay married for the kids?

A common refrain is that people stay in otherwise unhappy marriages for the kids. Parents may not want to cause undue stress or shake up a child’s life too much. So instead, they put off the inevitable. It’s the grin-and-bear-it approach.

Many couples wait until their kids grow up, go to college, or otherwise move out. These people consider this the best time to divorce for their situation. Whether or not that’s true is a topic of some debate. Some couples may pull it off. It’s one thing if you’re simply not in love anymore but can remain amicable.

On the other hand, in high-conflict cases, it may cause more harm than good. If all a couple does is fight, staying together when they otherwise wouldn’t often intensifies those ill feelings. And with kids stuck in the middle, all that strife may wind up worse than the parents separating.

Again, it’s all relative. For some couples, the best time to divorce may be after the kids have moved out. In other situations, maybe they shouldn’t wait.

Related Reading: What Are the Odds of Getting Full Custody?

Retirement Benefits

When a marriage hits the ten-year mark, spouses often become eligible for certain retirement benefits. After that milestone, you can claim Social Security based on your former spouse’s work history. When it comes to military pensions, the length of marriage impacts how much a spouse can claim in the divorce.

Because age and the length of a marriage impact divorce settlements, some couples delay filing. This also depends on how close and whether or not the spouses can stand to stay together. But some couples wait until they get to a point where it seems like the best time to divorce.

Related Reading: 8 Ways to Rebuild Finances After Divorce

Health Insurance

Health insurance is a big issue, one that leads some couples to put off ending their marriage. In most cases, you can’t remain on your ex’s insurance after divorce. This is a big problem, especially as people age or deal with chronic, continuing health concerns. Unless you can afford separate coverage, or acquire your own, it’s a problem for many people.

Some people remain married until they reach the age to qualify for Medicare. Usually, this isn’t until 65, unless you have a disability. Regardless of age, the best time to divorce may be after you’ve carefully considered your health care options.

Related Reading: How Divorce Affects Health Insurance

Legal Separation

In some cases, couples opt for legal separation instead of divorce. While divorce legally dissolves a marriage, with legal separation, it remains technically intact. For all intents and purposes, the relationship is over. Legal separation also often involves parenting plans, spousal support, and other court orders, much like a divorce.

Still, people choose this option for many reasons. Finances often figure in. Filing taxes as a married couple may save money. Couples wait until they qualify for Social Security or other retirement benefits. Spouses can still inherit property in legal separations. As mentioned above, health insurance is a big deal. In some cases, though not all, spouses remain covered even in cases of legal separation. This provides a workaround if people oppose divorce for religious or moral reasons.

In some instances, legal separation becomes a permanent state. For others, it’s temporary for one reason or another. A couple may want to wait until it’s the best time to divorce for their situation, biding their time until then.

The decision to end a marriage is huge, one of the biggest choices you’ll ever make. Many factors lead to this conclusion, and every situation plays out differently. One key element is finding the best time to divorce. What that means varies from one case to the next. For some, it may entail putting it off for a time, whether long or short. For others, it may need to happen ASAP.

Related Reading: Legal Separation Versus Divorce

The post When Is The Best Time To Divorce? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

This piece of paper lays out everything related to your child’s life moving forward. It includes custody arrangements, residential time, visitation schedule, and everything regarding your children. Because of that, it’s hugely important.

It’s also important to know what it contains and, perhaps even most important, what it should contain.

No two custody cases are ever the same. As a result, no two parenting plans will ever be identical. And under Washington law, there are no formal regulations about what a parenting plan must look like or what it must include.

What Is a Parenting Plan?

The court document that addresses custody matters is called a parenting plan.

These orders establish:

• Where a child lives;
• Which parent holds the decision-making authority;
• How much time you spend together;
• Who controls choices about education, religion, medical care, and much more.

In short, if it involves custody, visitation, or childcare decisions, the parenting plan lays out the specifics. Because it defines how much involvement you have in your child’s life, these documents are massively important.

What Should a Parenting Plan Include?

While there’s no official legal blueprint for how to create a parenting plan, there is a kind of informal format. Again, the specifics depend on the particular situation, but in general, parenting plans in Washington include and address the following areas.

Residential Schedule

The biggest piece of the custody plan puzzle is the residential schedule. This lays out, in great detail, where the child lives. Most often, the child lives the bulk of the days with one parent, while spending previously arranged days with the other.

How this breaks down varies, but one common pattern is the “every other weekend” formula. That oversimplifies the situation a great deal, but it gives you a general idea.

As the name infers, the child spends the bulk of the time with one parent but lives with the other on odd weekends.

It’s also common for the weekend parent to receive shorter visits during the week. Think a movie, a dinner, or a ball game and you get the idea. This also often depends on how close you and your ex live to one another.

Though they get thrown around often in conversation, Washington doesn’t officially use the terms custody or visitation. Instead, parenting time is the legal designation. Despite the terminology, the parent with the most overnights is generally the one considered the parent with “custody,” while the other gets “visitation.”

Holidays and Special Occasions

Parenting plans typically split holidays between the parents. They also usually alternate. For example, if you get your son on Christmas in even years, your ex may get him in odd years.

Your parenting plan most likely maps out who the child spends every holiday with. This includes biggies like Christmas and Thanksgiving, but also Memorial Day, Labor Day, and all the others. Maybe you like to go big on Arbor Day.

Most include accommodations for special occasions and things like Father’s Day and Mother’s Day. An allotment of vacation time also usually makes an appearance. They often even contain specific transportation details, drug and alcohol restrictions, and many other elements.

School Breaks And Vacations

Kids count down the days to the major school breaks, but schedules can be difficult for parents after a divorce. Fortunately, the parenting plan should also break down where the child spends these vacations.

• • Winter: Winter breaks are often roughly two weeks long. In many cases, the parenting plan splits residential time between parents. You get your child the first week, while your ex has week two, for example. If this is the case, again, it often alternates year to year.
  • Spring/Mid-Winter: Shorter in duration, spring and mid-winter breaks frequently alternate yearly. This means, that if you have residential time for spring break this year, your ex likely has it for spring break next year.
  • Summer: Because it’s so much longer, summer break differs from the other, shorter vacations. It’s usually not divided evenly between parties. In most cases, the schedule remains largely the same as during the school year, possibly with slight adjustments. It often contains allowances for family trips, activities, and the like.

Decision Making

When a child is in your care, you have the ability to make immediate decisions. What to eat, where to go, that sort of thing.

But when it comes to major life choices, like education, health care, and even religion, among others, the parenting plan lays out who has final authority in those matters.

In most cases, parents share joint decision-making powers. This means they have to work together to come to a conclusion. But depending on the circumstances, the parenting plan may limit this power in certain areas or across the board. The document should also lay out the specific reasons for this.

How to Create a Parenting Plan

As stated, Washington doesn’t have a template for how to create a parenting plan. What we laid out here serves as a hypothetical example.

That said, these basics often serve as a starting point. Again, each case differs depending on the child’s needs and the specific details of the situation. But these are areas a parenting plan should and likely will address.

While this may be a jumping-off point, you must consider a wide number of variables.

Proximity, for example, has a huge impact.

It’s one thing if you live in West Seattle and your ex lives in Queen Anne. It’s something else entirely if you live in Seattle and your ex lives in Spokane. Those plans will, by necessity, look very different.

It’s also possible for parents to hash things out and come to an agreement on their own.

For instance, if your family places a huge emphasis on Thanksgiving, you may be able to negotiate to have your child for that holiday every year in exchange for concessions elsewhere.

In the end, however, the court must approve any deal you strike. They want to make sure a parenting plan serves the best interests of the child and doesn’t skew too heavily one way or the other. And as in most family law matters, it’s probably in your best interest to consult an attorney before anything becomes official.

Need help creating an effective parenting plan? Contact our Seattle office or fill out a free online case review today.

Related Reading: The Importance of Jurisdiction in Child Custody Cases

From The Radio

Our founding partner, Rick Jones, regularly appears on the KZOK morning show, where he answers family law questions from listeners.

On a recent spot, one caller had this very topic on his mind. It’s also a question that comes up often. Does he need a parenting plan if he and his child’s mother never actually married?

Listen to the Conversation:

Caller: “I’m not married. I have a three-and-a-half-year-old, and if I get separated, do I need a parenting plan?”

Sarah: “You are married, or you’re not married?”

Danny: “He’s not married, he’s got a three-year-old. And I looked at Rick Jones’s face and there was an exclamation point on it, ‘Yeah, you need a parenting plan.'”

Rick: “Absolutely. The good news is, you’ve already probably signed a [acknowledgment of parentage] at the hospital. So the issue isn’t that you have to prove you’re the father, but once you separate, there’s nothing put in place, no schedule put in place.

“So there’s already a presumption that the child is remaining with the mother. What you need to do, even by agreement, is to initiate a parenting plan that says, ‘Hey, just like two divorcing people, we have to have a rule book in place.’”

Danny: “Right, but it’d be…essentially the same thing. Now, is it weighted for or against somebody who’s not married, or is it the exact same thing? Like, you got a three-year-old, and you have a three-year-old.”

Rick: “The exact same thing. As in, whether you’re married or not.”

Danny: “Alright, you need a parenting plan buddy.”

Caller: “Is it a different court that handles it, because it’s not a divorce, because you’re not married?”

Rick: “There’s no such thing as ‘divorce court.’ It’s all handled in the Superior Court which is county-based here [in Washington State].”

Danny: “But if somebody just says, I wanna break up, grabs the three-year-old, and moves to Wyoming, that’s when a lawyer will get involved for sure.”

Rick: “Well, they could try to do that, and then, of course, someone here in [the state] would get the case filed immediately. And I wouldn’t want to be the person that high-tailed it to Wyoming, because all of a sudden their credibility is shot.”

Related Reading: Guardian Ad Litem: What You Need to Know

The post What’s In A Washington State Parenting Plan? appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

During what tends to be a hectic time of year, that strain frequently ramps up the friction up even further.

Having a plan and strategy takes at least one source of stress off the table. And let’s be real, you have plenty of others to contend with.

Managing Your Holiday Custody Schedule

Despite the potential for conflict, tension, and other problems, there are ways to deal with the impending holiday madness. Not everything works the same for every situation. That’s a given. But parents who successfully navigate their holiday custody schedule often employ the following tactics:

Clear and Timely Communication

Following a divorce or other split, things probably aren’t great between you and your ex. That’s just how these things usually go, especially if it’s a new or recent development. This often makes communication challenging. Add the extra stress of co-parenting during the holidays and you face potential disaster.

Though it may be tough, and you may rather have your wisdom teeth out than talk to your ex, clear and timely communication is vital.

Parents who opt for this route usually fare much better than those who don’t.

This is also sound advice outside of the holiday season.

If you put aside your gripes and grievances for a time, this will go much faster and be much easier. Set a specific time to talk about holiday plans and schedules.

Start early. Don’t wait until the last minute. It’s much easier to arrange or rearrange plans well in advance than to scramble the week before.

This is important to everyone. Depending on the plans, it impacts you, your kids, your ex, and various other family members.

Related Reading: My Son Wants to Live With Me, Can He?

Set Realistic Expectations

Setting realistic expectations goes a long way to creating harmonious co-parenting.

Many parents dream of perfect holiday gatherings full of warmth, grandeur, and perfection. Most of us know all too well that these lofty goals don’t usually come to fruition. Don’t stress about every detail being flawless.

Remember as you plan your celebrations that spending time with your children is the most important part of the holidays. Set expectations around when and how you will celebrate.

If you won’t have the kids on the actual holiday, there’s no rule saying you can’t open presents, feast, and engage in holiday merriment on another day or in another way.

Expectations with presents should also be addressed. Divorce often strains finances and leaves less money for gift-giving. You want everything to be great but don’t overextend yourself or make promises you can’t keep.

Your kids will eventually forget about the toys or gifts, but they will hold onto how you made them feel.

Before gift opening, preferably as early as possible, explain to your kids what they can expect from the holidays in an age-appropriate manner. The younger the child, the simpler the explanation should be. Let them know the plan, what arrangements you make with your ex, and the holiday schedule.

Related Reading: What Are the Odds of Getting Primary Custody?

Maintain Consistency

The holidays are hectic and chaotic for everyone. This is especially true for children with shared custody arrangements.

Splitting time between parents and shuttling between households results in twice as many parties, functions, and activities.

All too often, this also means twice as much stress and strain. It’s important to do what you can to ease that burden.

It’s normal to expect some deviation from routines during the holidays. After all, the kids are out of school, relatives are in town, and maybe there’s travel to arrange.

Still, the closer you can stick to the regular co-parenting schedule, the easier things will likely stay. Consistency and stability form cornerstones of security, especially for younger children.

If you do change the schedule, let the kids know as soon as possible. Give them as much advance notice as you can and don’t spring alterations on them at the last moment. Tell them what’s going on as soon as you know.

Keeping them informed about changes—the whens and wheres and whos of the schedule—provides peace of mind and eases stress during the holidays.

Whatever the plans, take the time to make sure everyone practices good safety protocols and takes steps to protect everyone’s health and wellbeing.

Related Reading: Child Custody and Parental Relocation

Put the Kids First

This was said earlier, but it bears repeating: Put the kids first.

Everything else takes a back seat to them, their feelings, and their holiday experience. You and your ex are adults. Hopefully, you can both act like it for the small amount of time you have to interact. Whether they know it or not, your kids will thank you.

Parents who successfully manage holiday custody schedules put their children first when it comes to dealing with their ex.

There’s no one out there who pushes your buttons quite like your ex. Committing to always acting in your child’s best interest can be key when disagreements arise. Be as calm and even as you can, even if your ex tries to pick fights.

Maintaining a positive attitude can be difficult when dealing with your ex. Especially this time of year.

Focusing on your kids helps to alleviate some of the frustration.

Knowing your children will ultimately benefit from the arrangement makes compromising so much easier.

Co-parenting and shared custody is almost always a challenge. The holiday season frequently intensifies issues between parents.

Even minor disagreements often escalate thanks to the additional stress. Take steps to ease tensions and help everyone have a happier holiday season.

Related Reading: Can I Still Smoke Weed? Legal Marijuana and Child Custody

The post Managing Your Holiday Custody Schedule appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

As problems in your marriage mount, you may consider whether divorce is the best choice. The question of dissolving a marriage is ultimately an intense, difficult, and incredibly personal choice that throws your entire world into upheaval.

Having a skilled professional to guide you through the process can be a huge benefit during a time of emotional turmoil, where you may not always think clearly.

This may not be a comprehensive list, but ask these questions before hiring a divorce lawyer.

Related Reading: Pro Se Divorce – When To DIY

Do You Need A Divorce Lawyer?

By the time you get to this stage, you’ve probably asked things like why you’re staying married or if you can possibly salvage your relationship. These are important topics to be sure. However, they’re also relatively unrelated to whether or not you should hire a divorce lawyer.

At this point, you’ve likely decided to dissolve your marriage. It’s more a matter of when and how than if. The next step is to figure out if you need representation in the coming split.

With the proliferation of do-it-yourself divorce websites, online tools, and similar resources, you don’t necessarily need an attorney to end your marriage.

In many ways, the process can be relatively simple and straightforward.

You download the forms, fill them out, file them for a fee, and get a divorce.

At the same time, it also often becomes incredibly complex.

• Children and custody disputes commonly lead to issues.
• If you and your spouse have a great deal of shared property to divide, like homes, cars, or debts, that often creates friction.
• Age, health, future earning potential, the length of the marriage, and other issues also factor into your divorce settlement.

The more to argue over, and the more you and your spouse disagree about how to proceed, the more tangled things become.

The more complicated the situation, the more likely you’ll benefit from hiring a divorce lawyer to protect your rights and interests. An experienced attorney shepherds you through the process. They also provide peace of mind during stressful times.

Related Reading: 8 Ways People Damage Their Own Divorce Cases

The Benefits Of Hiring A Divorce Lawyer

It’s possible to handle the details of a split yourself. This fits best in shorter marriages, ones with no children, and little in the way of shared property to distribute. As already indicated, the more intertwined the lives of you and your spouse, the more contentious things become. This increases the likelihood you need the guidance of a divorce lawyer.

If your spouse enlists an attorney, strongly consider finding your own representation. If for no other reason than this puts you on even footing. Beyond that, the presence of a divorce lawyer proves useful in many additional areas.

Related Reading: How to File for Divorce in Washington

Division Of Property

The more property you and your spouse own together, the more assets you have to divide. Thus, the more complicated the process.

Washington is a community property state. Under these statutes, all assets acquired during a marriage, even those held in one individual’s name, legally belong to both parties. In the case of divorce, this means the court divides everything between you and your spouse in an equitable fashion.

This doesn’t mean all the property will be split evenly, but assets will be distributed so each party comes out on relatively even footing.

You and your soon-to-be-ex can work together to come to terms. But if this becomes contentious, a lawyer or mediator helps you reach a fair agreement for everyone.

Related Reading: How Are Assets, Property, and Debt Divided in Washington State?

Child Custody

Child custody issues frequently cause problems in divorce. You and your spouse must resolve these issues. Again, it’s possible to come to an arrangement without outside help, but when kids come into play, things often get heated and messy.

Enlisting the services of a divorce lawyer experienced in these cases can be a huge benefit. They help calm down tense situations. Also, a professional can fight to ensure your rights as a parent. If you hope to protect your guardianship, custody claim, visitation, and more, you may be best served by hiring a veteran attorney.

Related Reading: Back to School Tips for Divorced Dads

Support

• • Child Support: If your divorce involves kids, child support comes into play. These payments provide for the continuing care of minor children. They cover the costs of food, clothing, shelter, education, and other necessities. In general, the party with the most overnights receives payments from the other. However, they can still be present in cases of 50/50 shared custody.
  • Spousal Support: Though not awarded in every case, the court often orders spousal support to help your former partner meet financial needs after a divorce. The amount of these payments is based on what is fair and equitable in a given situation. The amount often accounts for the age and health of both spouses, the length of the marriage, and future earning potential, among other factors. Spousal support may be awarded for a limited time or continue indefinitely.

Related Reading: Calculate Your Child Support Responsibility

Understanding Your Divorce Settlement

While the DIY methods result in a quicker, cheaper divorce, they often also lead to issues down the road.

Custody arrangements, parenting plans, and settlements become complicated. If you handle them yourself, unless you have a legal background, it’s easy to sign something you don’t fully understand.

These things can be difficult, not to mention expensive, to modify after the fact. And that will likely require professional legal help. Hiring a divorce lawyer upfront often heads off potential calamity in the future and ensures that you don’t get blindsided by issues you weren’t aware of.

Ending a marriage can be a complicated process. As in most legal cases, you will likely be best served by hiring a divorce lawyer, even if your situation appears relatively straightforward. Things get tangled in short order and an experienced attorney helps you understand what you’re agreeing to, explains your rights, and shows you how to achieve an optimal result.

Related Reading: Average Costs of Divorce in Washington State

The post When To Hire A Divorce Lawyer appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

There are two scenarios where your ex might be taking the kids out of the country: relocation or vacation.

While the two scenarios share some common ground there are also distinct differences. We tackle the relocation situation first and then discuss the challenges foreign vacations pose.

Can My Ex Move My Child Abroad?

In a relocation scenario, whether moving across town or out of the country, the law requires the residential parent to file a Notice of Intended Relocation. Additionally, they must give at least 60 days’ notice of the intended relocation.

Once filed, the other parent has 30 days to object to the move by filing a Relocation Objection action.

The court then evaluates the intended relocation by using twelve different factors. Some of these factors include:

• The best interests of the child.
• Stability.
• Reason for the move.
• Community ties in both the new and the old locations.

It’s important to note that Washington State law favors the primary parent in relocations. This means that the court assumes the child should be allowed to relocate with the primary parent and the non-primary parent will have to provide reasons to prevent the move.

Related Reading: An In-Depth Look At Parental Relocation

International Parental Relocation

There is a big difference between moving a few miles and relocating to another country. If your ex plans an international move, the court scrutinizes the move more closely and evaluates other factors that affect the child.

International relocation causes extreme disruption to a child’s life. This often eliminates one parent from the child’s life for all practical purposes. Such disruption and possible exclusion will improve the odds of preventing an international relocation.

The best way to protect your relationship with your kids is to establish an active role in their daily lives. Get and stay involved in your child’s day-to-day activities. This establishes strong bonds that the courts usually hesite to sever.

The involvement you have with your kids, the more likely the court will deem such a drastic relocation as disruptive or detrimental to the parent/child relationship.

Related Reading: What’s in a Parenting Plan? What Should Be?

Children’s Passports For Vacations

Relocation is one thing, but what about out-of-country vacations?

If your ex wants to vacation in a foreign destination, they first need to obtain a passport for your child.

Getting a passport for a minor requires:

• A completed application.
• Evidence of U.S. Citizenship.
• Evidence of the parental/guardian relationship.
• Identification for both parents.
• Parental consent.
• Fees.
• A passport photo.

The key step for parents with shared custody is providing parental consent. Both parents must give consent to obtain a passport for a minor under the age of 16.

Related Reading: Dos and Don’ts to Protect Visitation and Custody

Obtaining a Passport for Minor Children

There are multiple ways to grant consent for a parent/guardian to obtain a passport for their minor child:

• Both parents appear in person and sign Form DS-11 in front of an Acceptance Agent.
• One parent appears in person with the minor, signs the DS-11 form in front of an Acceptance Agent, and submits the second parent’s notarized Statement of Consent (Form DS-3053).

If one parent has sole legal custody, things change a bit. That parent appears in person with the minor, signs the DS-11 Form in front of an Acceptance Agent, and submits primary evidence of sole authority to apply for the child using one of the following:

• • The minor’s certified U.S. or foreign birth certificate that lists only the applying parent.
  • Consular Report of Birth Abroad or Certification of Birth Abroad listing only the applying parent.
  • Court order granting sole custody to the applying parent. (Unless that order also restricts the child’s travel.)
  • Adoption decree. (If the applying parent is the sole adoptive parent.)
  • Court order that specifically permits the applying parent’s or guardian’s travel with the child.
  • Judicial declaration of incompetence of non-applying parent.
  • Death certificate of the non-applying parent.

It’s important to note that the written consent from the non-applying parent must be less than three months old to be accepted with a passport application for a minor under the age of 16.

Your ex can only obtain a passport for your minor child with your consent or by court order.

You can find the forms and additional information about international travel with minors on the U.S. Department of State website.

Related Reading: Guardian Ad Litem: What You Need to Know

The post Passports, Custody, and International Travel appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.

Rick Jones, one of our founding partners, makes regular appearances on the KZOK morning show where he fields family law questions from listeners. A recent caller finds himself in a particularly ugly, unpleasant custody battle. His wife is threatening to take his sons and move out of state and he wants to know if he has any legal recourse.

Related Reading: What to Expect From Child Custody Hearings

Listen to the answer below:

Caller: “My wife and I recently went through…we had an ‘argument.’ Which jumped to a ‘disorderly conduct’ apparently.  She’s planning all this fun stuff for me, but I feel like I’ve been set up. Now she’s saying she’s going to take my boys and move them to California. I’m wondering if that’s something she can do without my permission?”

Danny: “Alright so that’s your question? There’s a lot of stuff there and sounds like your wife is reeeaaally mad at you. So I guess the big question is: Can his wife take his boys and go to California?”

Rick: “Well I’m not liking what I’m hearing, because it does sound like a bit of a setup, just in general. Obviously, I don’t know the circumstances, but that being the case, there’s a whole lot of things that have to be litigated or determined by the courts before she has the ability to do that. Now if she’s threatening to do that before there’s anything filed, then the courtroom door is open to him. 

“Get a case file and seek what’s called a restraining order, and the restraining order would basically just say, ‘Hey we don’t know what’s going to happen to this case, but for now, we want the evidence here. We want to litigate this in Washington, and the biggest piece of evidence is going to be the kids themselves.’

“So, it’s very unlikely that the courts would allow her to move pending the outcome of a parenting investigation. So he’s at least going to have the opportunity of due process to figure out who the primary parent is likely to be. And you never know what’s going to happen. Time does heal wounds.”

Danny: “‘Hey can my wife take my boys?’ Today the answer is no. Can she legally take your kid and run to another state today?“

Rick: “No, she actually can. Right now, two spouses are not going to be able to commit a crime against each other, so it’s not kidnapping. Just like if you were taking your children to another state, you wouldn’t need permission right away. There’s the assumption that it’s okay. “

Danny: “He might be able to bring them back though?”

Rick: “Exactly.”

Related Reading: False Abuse Allegations and Divorce

The post Custody Battles: “I Feel Like I’m Being Set Up” appeared first on Goldberg Jones Divorce For Men.